My husband's brother and his wife struggled with infertility for years. After trying for so long, they decided to stop, but started sort of living the experience of having a child by doing things that parents do, like getting a nursery, buying baby clothes, toys, attending school shows. I'm seven months pregnant, and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law have been asking many questions on what it's like to be expecting. It was bothersome with them getting involved, but I grinned and bared it. Till they requested to be in the delivery room with me to experience childbirth, I said no and stood firm, but later discovered that my husband volunteered his place to give to his brother and his wife both a chance to have this experience. We had a fight and I told them off. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law came over later to try to talk me into it. I nicely said no, but they pushed me, so I blew up, telling them that their infertility problems aren't my fault, and told them that they need therapy. My sister-in-law started crying. My brother-in-law asked me to take time to think, but I really said there was nothing to think about, and my mind's already been made. They left, and my husband started raging, after yelling at me about how this is his child to and how rude it is and dismissive I was to a grieving and struggling brother and wife. He told me to look at him in the eye and tell him I would be happy to ruin his brother's marriage when I can do this small yet graceful deed to help my brother-in-law and his wife process their trauma and finally make peace with it. I felt so much angrier, I cried. He told me to get over myself already and stop being purposely selfish and petty. We're not talking now, and he says it stays this way till I say yes. I might have acted cruel, but I just wanted him as the father of my child to be with me, and I don't feel comfortable with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law being there.

We're so not the asshole for this. It's one thing if it's like your mom, but your brother and sister-in-law, if you're not comfortable with it, it's your moment. It's your baby, not theirs.