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#aita for telling someone she’s the common denominator in her failed friendships?
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I've been with my partner for a year now and I've met most of his friends. He's very close with his friend group from high school, which I think is very sweet. His friend is getting married next year and my boyfriend is one of the group's friends, so we've been spending a lot more time with this friend group. I admittedly am not super keen on one of his friends. I've always chalked it up to personality differences. She's quite loud and dominates conversations a lot. It's not like I don't like her, I just find her a bit much. We were in a Zoom with my boyfriend's friend shooting shit and the wedding came up. At one point we were talking about outfits and she said how much she hates shopping and she was dreading going shopping. She read a weird comment about how she's not girly and wanted the guys, which if I'm immature, she's a grown woman after all, but I didn't say anything. She asked if I knew what I was wearing and I said no, but I had planned to go with a friend shopping, who was also going to an event coming up. I was going to ask her if she'd like to come with us, but she interrupted saying, oh, that's cute. I just don't like stuff like that. I don't hang out with other girls. I just prefer being with the guys, which I found really patronizing to be honest. It was clear I was annoyed and the conversation kind of took a turn. I said, so you've never had a friendship with another woman before? She said, no, I have. I just find a lot of girls petty and catty. Don't you? I said, no, I don't. I'm friends with lots of women. We compliment each other, go shopping together and occasionally share pastries sometimes. She said, oh, I could never. Girls always talk behind my back. I said, you know, if every single relationship you've ever had with another woman has gone sour, the common denominator here is in fact not that they're other women. It's probably you. A couple others laughed and I tried to move on to a different topic of conversation, but she was very clearly angry. She logged off early and texted my boyfriend and said I was way out of line. He replied and told her he didn't think so. And if she was one of the guys, she should be used to a bit of gentle ribbing every now and then. I feel a bit bad, though. I heard her feelings. She seems quite insecure to me. Plus, it's not really my friend group, so I may have been a bit overbearing. Am I the asshole?
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