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#aita for not agreeing to a name change for my daughter, despite her father wanting one?
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Max and I were engaged, living together, and planning on trying for kids after the wedding. The wedding got delayed and I found out I was pregnant shortly after. Max freaked out, insisted it couldn't be his baby because he wasn't ready to be a dad. But this was all happening too fast, and it wasn't how we planned it, and said he needed some time to think over everything. He then moved out, blocked me, and didn't answer any sort of contact for 10 months. Our child was born without him there, and I named our daughter Elizabeth Laura Smith without his input. Elizabeth, because I liked it, it reminded me of my favorite book character, Laura, after my grandma, and Smith is my surname. Max has reached out. He said he waited this long because he wasn't sure how far along I was when we were together, but figured the baby had to have been born by now. I said his timing was a little bit off, and she's 5 months now. My ex said he's planning to sort out custody. We have not discussed logistics yet, but he's unlikely to get anything before she turns 1. He asked if I named her yet, but I told her what I named her. My ex said he hates the name. He thinks it sounds old and stuffy. He says that his mother, Mary, has recently passed away, and he wants to name our daughter Mary. He says Mary must be the first name, and that I can either have Elizabeth or Laura as the middle name. I made it clear that in no uncertain terms that I will not change her name. I hate the name Mary. I hate how it sounds, both alone and with Elizabeth Laura Smith, or the end of it. Plus, I didn't like his mother either. My ex said if we're going to co-parent, then I have to learn to compromise, and this is the first place to start, that it's unfair that I got to choose both her first and middle name. I said if he hadn't blocked me for the better part of the year, he'd have been able to have a say in all this before she was born. My ex said that the bulb is proof that I'm being petty, and that he can't undo the past, but I can prevent any feelings of resentment from him over his name and the future, and that as the father, he should have been able to have a say in his daughter's name. He also says that he's willing to let her be Smith, and not force me to use his surname, which is proof he's already negotiated, so am I the asshole?
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