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#aita for saying I won’t coddle my infertile sister any more?
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My sister Julie has tried to have a baby for five years. She had a miscarriage two years ago and outside that has been unable to get pregnant. My heart hurts for her. However, one thing I don't agree with is how my family has handled it. We are not allowed to talk about babies around Julie. Any kids younger than three can't come to family events that she'll attend. She won't attend baby showers, baptisms. The last one I understand, but the rest feels overkill. I got pregnant last year. I told Julie first and she reiterated her boundaries. I said I understood. The first hurdle came with my baby shower. My mother-in-law was throwing it. I didn't expect Julie to come. Then my mom told me I shouldn't have one period. Out of respect. I said that was ridiculous. She didn't have to come, but what did it matter? Only three people from my side of the family came to the shower. When my son was born, I posted the birth announcement on Facebook. My parents lectured me for this and said it was going to hurt Julie. I said she could block me or mute me. They said I should make an effort. Julie echoed that if I cared, I'd stop. I ended up blocking her just to save drama. My aunt's 70th birthday party is next week. My husband and I plan to go bringing our son. Julie called and asked if we were going. She then asked for me to get a sitter for our son. I said no, she doesn't want to miss the party. My aunt is one of the few people who agree that Julie's boundaries aren't fair and wants my son there, as she doesn't get to see him often. Julie got upset, started crying, saying I wasn't fair. I finally snapped and asked her what would happen if she got pregnant. Would we all be expected to shower her with the love and attention she refuses to give other people's kids? Will her baby be allowed to attend events? She said it was different. I said no, I'm not coddling her anymore. My son exists. He's family. He's coming. She can decide if she wants to or not. My parents yelled at me for being mean to Julie. The offer to pay for a sitter. But I said no. It's not even our house.
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