I don't like to be a Debbie downer I don't really like to talk about the hard things about my life because all I want is to be happy all I want is to have success all I want is to be comfortable and and use that joy to help others But right now I'm in a position where the only thing is I help other people but yeah I am always left behind like everything's too good to be true like I can work so hard In and I can think that people care about me and then it turns like it turns out like none of it is probably true and and I don't understand why I don't understand why people would make it seem like you matter When when one day that it's like you don't anymore I don't understand that and this is why like I have all these abandonment issues and things like I I don't understand how Like every time I I had to seems like I have a success and it turns out to just be a failure like it includes on itself I feel like my life is going in the right direction and then I was sudden it it isn't and I look at all these people and like they have everything going for them they don't even have any care in the world I wish I knew what that was like I wish I knew what that felt like Take me able to wake up happy every day or at least most days and just not worry