I almost die Liz Lemon style choking alone in my apartment easily one of the scariest moments ever I was talking to a friend on the phone and eating a burger recently my friend B said something funny and he's pretty talkative I wanted to get a quick response in so I swallowed and went to talk only no words came out I wasn't even really coughing it was lodged subtly in my throat and the more I struggled the further down and slid slowly B noticed and asked if I was choking and I couldn't respond so I just kind of coughed into the phone to confirm it he tried to call 911 but lives in another state that will not connect you to another state's emergency services so it wasn't going to be quick enough and there's like multiple locked doors for them to get through before they even get to me anyways I was going to die I started not being able to stand and started tunnel getting tunnel vision I had tears and snot streaming down my face into my open mouth and didn't even care I've shoved my entire hand down my throat and nothing remember how I said I wasn't coughing and it was still sitting my throat I actually had to make myself cough to move it at all and then as I randomly started thinking of irrelevant things I remember things like my ex liked when I go down on him I have learned how to utilize my throat muscles in interesting ways so with my last ounce of energy I manipulated my throat muscle and forced him to shove the food right back up I threw up a golf-side chunk of food right into my hands and stared at it before I threw it away and collected myself y'all I sat there stunned for like five minutes while B frankly begged me to tell him I was okay I finally bursted out laughing in relief and confirmed what was happening then I told them what I did to save myself and we both cracked up but holy shit man next time I may not be so lucky

Wow that's so crazy you need to tell me more I wanna hear more about it