I'm in a relationship with a guy who also works in tech. He makes 68k and I make 130k. I am a mechanical engineer at a robotics startup. He works at a more stable job doing programming at a large company. He brought me to meet his friends at a party and they asked me about myself. His friends mostly work in tech too and talked about themselves in terms of their jobs. I told them I'm a hiker, I do archery, I love road trips and camping and riding dirt bikes. Basically talking about my hobbies because work is just a way to get peace to do the shit I love. It's not how I define myself and it doesn't come to mind when someone wants me to tell them about myself. One of his friends asked about work and I said oh gosh I don't want to talk about work at a party. I spent my whole day sweating my ass off in 95 degree heat trying to replace this busted-ass motor just to find the replacement part was also fucked. I wasn't lying or trying to downplay that I have a good job. That really is how I spent my day and I wasn't in the mood to talk shop at a party. Some other conversations came up casually that probably also made me seem poor like me saying that car dealership repairs were ripoff and telling my boyfriend that my childhood neighbor's trailer caught on fire and I was gonna visit and help her out. I wasn't doing it on purpose. I was literally just talking about my life but I guess I gave the impression I was poorer. It got later in the night everyone was getting drunker and some of his friends were making jokes about me growing up in a trailer and being a gold digger and being ready to jump to a richer guy. Really misogynistic shit honestly since they don't even know me and seems to just assume all girls are gold diggers. He didn't say anything. He literally said it was because he smoked weed and gets quiet and has trouble carrying on a quick conversation when he's high but regardless I felt hurt he didn't say anything. I got irritated with his friends and asked now why the hell would you say that when I make twice what he does? His friends went quiet for a second and I continued saying there ain't no gold to dig here not with him or anyone at this party so do y'all think I'm cheap or do y'all think I'm stupid? My boyfriend wanted to leave the party shortly after and he was pretty upset with me for telling everyone I make twice what he does. I said I would have held my tongue if he checked his friends himself but he didn't say anything so I wasn't about to let them talk to me like that. He said it was humiliating and now everyone thinks I'm a bitch and I flippantly said at least they know I'm a rich bitch. He was angry. I embarrassed him when I spoke up. I was angry. I had to say anything at all because his friends were talking shit so it should be on him to check them. Stuff is still tense. Am I the asshole for explaining why I'm not a gold digger?