Okay, this one did not go well. I'm at the top drawer of my dresser and it's a catch-all for just like miscellaneous stuff that my wife and I have from over the years. It's filled with random things that have, you know, sort of seemed like a good idea to keep around. So anyway, I have this naughty coupon booklet that my wife bought me when we were still dating. This is years and years ago. And I was looking for something the other day and I came across this booklet. It was untouched, all coupons intact, which I, when she gave it to me, I thought it was a cute gesture, but we were doing everything anyway, so I tucked it away and forgot about it. So, you know, the years go by and you know, came across this thing and thought, hey, maybe, you know, the spice can sort of come back. This is a cool little thing. So one day she comes home from work and I was upstairs and I could feel the negative energy rush into our house. No fault of her own. She's usually super positive, but, you know, had a bad day and the sound of her bad day could be heard in her footsteps. Heels were aggressively clacking against the floor, you know, side growl combo that I'm sure some people notice. Again, not even her personality. Everybody has bad days, but this one you could feel. So I head downstairs. We say hi and ask about each other's days. You know, as I could tell, hers sucked. Mine was great, which automatically made things worse. She starts to unload big time, not necessarily on me, but just on the day. I caught a few strays, but it's brutal and I'm just listening quietly. And I'm sure there's, you know, nothing that I can say or do to make it better, even though I'm trying. She doesn't think that I'm engaging, so asked me what my deal is and I couldn't think of anything else to do. So I pull out the coupon booklet that I had slipped into my pocket as I was just walking down the stairs and it opens up to a blowjob coupon. So I serotonously fold it up, tear it out and hand it to her purposefully and she's like, what the hell is this? And I point to the coupon and I say, see, this is something you gave me and it's good for one blowjob anytime. Her totally normal response comes back, Livid, are you fucking kidding me? And I say, no, I'm not. It says anytime. Anyway, she goes a nuclear in hindsight, as expected. I am at the fault here, but she snatches the booklet, tears it into smithereens, and I'm not certain that this will not end in divorce.

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