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#aita telling the truth in the wedding toast?
MemeMogul
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So I'm 37 years old and I've been with my fiance for two years. We're getting married soon and I've only met her family a couple times. My daughter Judy is 16 years old. She's never met them until very recently when they hosted us for dinner to celebrate the 4th of July. Judy has a visible burn scar on her forehead. It was due to an accident she was in when she was 9 years old. She used to be incredibly insecure about it to the point where I was forced to homeschool her and it was really just a hard time trying to deal and navigate through everything. Now she's doing a lot better even though some comments can really cause her to become stressed out and anxious. My fiance knows that and respects it. Before we went to her parents house I asked her to tell them about Judy and her struggles and try to get them to not say anything about it. Don't mention it, don't point it out, just lay off. We got to the event and they talked to Judy and she slowly warmed up to them. Everything was going fine until dinner time. My future mother-in-law looks at Judy while she's eating and starts to point at her scar, basically asking questions about it which made Judy lose her appetite and start to get uncomfortable. I kept sending my fiance and her mom signs to knock it off but nothing would reach them. Finally my mother-in-law then brings up the wedding and asks my fiance if it would be possible to photoshop the scar out of any wedding photos that will have Judy in them just in case it would distract viewers. I was dumbfounded. My fiance said nothing and just stared casually while nodding. I looked at Judy and it was clear it got to her, understandably so. I leaned closer and asked her if she was feeling uncomfortable and then we could leave if she wanted to. She took her time, slowly said yes and then we got up and I told her to get ready, we're going to get out of here. My fiance, her mom and family started insisting we finish dinner and stay but I refused. I took Judy, got in the car and left before even saying goodbye to my wife. Obviously my wife is pissed. She calls me angry talking about how I disrespected her and by taking Judy and leaving the middle of dinner without saying goodbye it was just wrong on my part. I told her that Judy was uncomfortable and that her mother-in-law's comments were the wrongest thing of the night. She then says that Judy overreacted and needs to go back to therapy if a simple mention of her scar can make her react like that. I got tired of arguing with her and asked her to give us some time and she went on and on against me telling me I have no respect for her and her family and what we were doing was irrational and that she wasn't going to speak to us until we cleared things up. I don't know what to say but am I really the asshole?
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