We've been together for a year and some change. Live together, she uses a flip phone for reasons that are too long to get into, so she will occasionally use my phone when she needs to check her email or download music. Back to my dumb ass, I'm not going to lie to y'all, I trashed my brain as a teenager. I have issues with memory, short and long, but today I woke up and was chilling for a bit while my girl was at work. Suddenly I thought, oh shit, what's my girlfriend's birthday? I knew what month it was in, but I couldn't remember if it was 8th or 9th. It's okay, I thought, I'll go dig around a bit. Surely there's some paperwork somewhere around the house that has her birthday on it. Spoiler, there wasn't. I'm definitely not asking her friends or family as they'll surely tell her I forgot. So I do what any reasonable guy does, and I google background check services, enter her name and city for $7.99, I receive an email with every traffic ticket, address and phone number she's ever made. Her hat. Most importantly though, her birthday. I write her birthday down in a safe spot and then go back to chilling. Calls well, I'm not a piece of shit boyfriend, what a relief. She gets home, our day's going well, when she asks to use my phone and read her email, I completely obliviously give it to her. She opens it and immediately she sees a full background check on herself. I knew exactly what happened once her face changed. She immediately asked why I was background checking her, a year into our relationship, and then started getting emotional, asking if I didn't trust her, etc. This is the first relationship I've ever not had trust issues in, so I immediately confess that I'm a dumbass. I forgot her birthday and I paid $7.99 to get it because her sister and friends would snitch on me. LOL. Luckily, this isn't the first time I've come off as a total moron to her, so she believed me.