Okay, so straight to it. My husband and I, both in our early 30s, have been together for over a decade and made the decision not to have kids. I like kids. I have nieces and nephews, but we just don't want them for our own reasons. He had a vasectomy, which only a few people know about. Our families are aware we don't want kids, and they've asked us before during different major life events, our wedding for instance. We recently bought a three-bedroom house with a nice yard and a nice area. Excited to show our new home to our family and friends, a major upgrade from our previous home, we hosted a housewarming. During the party, one of my sibling-in-law's, Alex, made a few indirect comments about all this space and the kids would love it in our house, etc. Eventually they asked us point blank when we were having kids. I made a lighthearted joke about it, which is my go-to for this question. Oh well, I'll excuse you too much to give it up for pregnancy. Plus, not drinking for pregnancy and breastfeeding? No thanks. I tried to make it very lighthearted and laugh it off. Most people just laughed along. It seemed to anger Alex and I was told children are a joy and a good mother puts her kids before everything else. I agree, children are a joy. I like spending time with my nieces and nephews and obviously I can't be a good mom if I choose sushi over kids, so I just won't be a mom. Still trying to brush it off in a gentle way because I'm not trying to start a fight by telling them to stop asking in front of everyone because I know my tone will be rude and abrasive. We move on but Alex is still annoyed and making little comments in their groups about how flippant I am about it and how when it finally happens then I'll understand. My husband heard this and jokingly said, well if she gets pregnant that will be a problem for the divorced lawyers. That seemed to piss them off more but they stopped. With the holidays coming up we have not been invited to Alex's usual Halloween bonfire. When my husband spoke to his parents they told him Alex was annoyed, we were so careless and callous about our child free status and to say what we did and they realized we had taken permanent steps to ensure we never had kids. That we know they had to do IVF to have kids etc and we are assholes just not to care. I feel bad because they did do IVF and lots of fertility treatments just to have their kids and even then they still had a few miscarriages. I can't imagine wanting kids and struggling to have them and then deal with miscarriages but at the same time I'm so tired of justifying living my life how I want. Am I the asshole?