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So earlier today in another comment section of mine, we were talking about certain pet peeves and she brought up the fact of unspoken dating rules, especially the one about calling. So I want to ask you guys, should you wait around for someone to call or text you after a date? I have always made the first move in some way shape or form and honestly I don't have the patience and I did wait a time or two and it ended up not working out for the best. So I felt like myself putting my step forward and seeing where things go. Like it saved me so much time and energy because if they didn't reciprocate that energy then I just would move on to the next. But I haven't been in in the dating world for a bit of time now. So I don't know, maybe things have changed. But yeah, let me know.
I don't think you should wait for anything. Move forward with your life and if things happen they happen if they don't they don't but to wait absolutely not.
I 100% agree and even with my current partner, I'm the one that made the first move. So, it was really great to, you know, put the initiative there. But he's been 100% the same way back to me. It's not like a difference in power, if that makes sense. But yeah, I agree. If someone's basically having a power struggle with you, Yeah, no, they're not the one.
I think it's great that you made the first move. I don't think that we should put the first move on any specific person. We often put it on then to make the first move or it's only acceptable if a guy makes the first move. So what? I'm here, I'm present, I see you and this is where I want to be. So, what's going on?
I absolutely love how you said that we shouldn't rely on a certain person to do it because I know that's been a huge controversial topic these last few years with girls speaking up saying they shouldn't wait around for the guy or a guy saying I wish girls were more forward this than that. Like, I think us thinking about it more so than just straight up doing it saves us so much time and energy.
I mean, you should never double text, you don't want to seem needy, but if you've been in a relationship with someone and they're not answering, Pester the hell out of them. That's who you are. If you want an answer, why are you waiting boundaries? Get what you want
I feel like you're like the male version of me. That's so crazy like every single response you've had to my posts I'm like okay same especially on something like this, totally, totally vibe with that.
No, I mean I think silence is an answer as well. If they're not, or they're taking a long time to contact you, then that's kind of like telling you something. But I am also like you. I don't like wasting time, so I would be the one to ask how things went and stuff as well if I didn't hear back in a suitable amount of time.
I think it really depends especially how the first day went but I mean if it's been a couple days I will just make the first move because if you're not gonna do that then how you gonna move forward in life
Yeah, I love making the first move in any way, shape, or form, especially about following up after a date because communication is key in my eyes. If that person can't communicate with me, whether they're interested or not, it just tells me all I need to know.
I did anything hey if you wanna talk to them to talk to let me know if you're busy they're busy if they're not they're not just like be patient but you know if you feel like it's gonna be in a rush or a hurry they're rushing things and like it's not meant for you
I think we will avoid this game players where it's kind of like they're waiting for you to text them and if you don't then they're going to be in there if someone is willing if someone likes you but they're willing to wait around for you to take them to Anna play some sort of game with you than evidently they are probably not the right type of person for you tomorrow I think if its reciprocal then you'll be very easy to iMessages either or doesn't really matter and we'll go from there
I 100% agree with the game player mentality and to avoid that because I can't begin to tell you how many times, especially in my early 20s when it came to dating, that these like so-called rules and you know dating games happened and I was just so flabbergasted that these you know methods were being used to find love. Like that's that was a turn off for me if anything.
No I don't think so and I am never been one to do that I mean I've tried but I suck at it and I like well address it like out loud you know I'm directly like I know that you know the unspoken rule are like the dating rules are that I'm supposed to wait but I'm gonna start a person and I'm not gonna pretend to be somebody that I'm not you know in the beginning because then you're gonna find out that I am not that way so I say don't wait just do
Yeah, I'm very outspoken to especially about dating like if I'm not seeing what I'm liking I'm not gonna waste my time and energy and I will let that person know that's why when I hear about these dating games like Oh, I'll wait 48 hours to text him or I'll put him on Mew or you know, I'll do this or I'll do that It's like really like you're putting all this energy into someone you're supposed to be wanting to be in a relationship with yet I feel like these games are just so much more wasteful.
Exactly. And why are we making it a game? Like, I mean, I'm all about making life fun and games and that kind of stuff. But like, I just don't get it. I just don't get it, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I agree that, you know, it's good to have lighthearted things going on and things that are fun, but there's not really any fun with messing with someone's feelings. So, yes, 100% agree with you on just everything you've said, not only here, but on all my other posts. Really, really glad to to have your side on this.
Hey thanks I'm glad you don't find my chiming in annoying Do you ever sidenote do you ever go live or do a show on here I'm debating doing one But not sure like if it needs to be like once a week or a specific time you know what I mean like I don't know figuring out my strategy
So me personally after going on a date with someone and it went well and I you know enjoyed myself I might send a text afterwards saying you know I had fun I might make a little joke or something like that But that's it because if someone wants to talk to you they will talk to you so me reaching out just makes me feel desperate and ill.
I definitely think that you should do what you feel and not played by the rules that other people create like if you wanna text somebody or text them if you wanna call them call them if they feel like it's too much you should've waited that they're probably not a right match for you because you're the kind of person who wants to take initiative and maybe you might like if somebody also would take initiative in response and not play coy or play these little games as if they don't want to like talk you know what I mean sounds like you're on the right track