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Hi, everyone letting wife here? I just wanted to know you guys is, I guess, advice and tidbits about maybe growing up, not having very good examples when it came to relationships. So how have you made it out so far?
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Hi guys, I think marriage don't grow successful. You have to make it work, grow successful. So that is the difference in both of the things.
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I completely agree. I don't really think that there's two people that are perfectly perfect, I guess, for each other. Me and my husband, we love each other very much, but it's not like we were perfect for each other off the bat. Definitely takes a lot of work.
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I don't believe that a perfect marriage actually exists to be honest. I didn't get much of a good example in relationships but one thing that I did learn is that you compromise in your relationship and that itself tells...
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That is not perfect and there's no such thing as perfection when it comes to any relationship whether you're married or not and I think I'm doing pretty good I'm looking forward to all of that you know.
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I absolutely agree. There's really no such thing as a perfect marriage, but once you're married, and honestly to this amazing person, I feel like you get to a point where you think to yourself, this person was made for me.
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My perspective on marriage has completely been shattered thanks to my parents. At first I wanted it, I craved it but then after seeing how there is one, it's a big no for me.
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That is completely understandable. My mother personally had two marriage and they're both horrible. But I have learned through my own marriage that your marriage doesn't have to be or even follow the footsteps of the one that you knew.
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See, I'm not a very big person, but I have a lot of things I need to do. I think that you're able to part ways with all of that, but I don't think I've reached that level yet.
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After idolizing something for so long thinking that it was like it was a stablest thing on this planet it was the best and then just watch it go to shit
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Wow, yeah, I get that. It's almost like, you know, you, you looked at it as what the definition of marriage was. And when you see it crumble, it's like, well, then I guess love isn't real. I guess nothing really ever worked out. You almost don't trust it in a way. And I did have this issue in the beginning.
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You're a spot on that is exactly it. It's just like Knowing something for so long so many years growing up seeing the bond respecting it loving it and then Everything else crashed
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So I'm hoping to do a talk about this tonight at 630. But I'm definitely going to talk about that because I feel like our environments when we grow up definitely affect our relationship and the way we view commitment growing up.
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And although I don't know the background of this marriage that you're talking about, in my personal marriage, it's just I've had to choose my husband every single day. We have to keep choosing to work with each other.
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Awesome, I would definitely like to be a part of it whether to sit in or to join the actual talk I'm not sure about the time difference because I'm in Jamaica, so let me know
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I think marriage is finding someone whom you can celebrate with and go through hardships with so that it can be bearable and it will be worthwhile.
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Absolutely. In a marriage, you definitely have to support each other and celebrate your successes and be there if something doesn't work out. So that's very good. That's a very realistic view of marriage.
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In my family, I've had relatives that married for love, but I've also had relatives that were arranged marriage, like my parents. And what I've learned is that, I think to make a successful marriage, you need to find someone that wants what you want.
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Oh yes, I wholeheartedly agree that you definitely need to be with somebody who prioritizes you and you prioritize them and you guys need to want the same things as in where you guys are going to head into this relationship together, absolutely.
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I think marriage is not about being perfect and having a perfect husband and wife. I think it's about accepting each other the way we are. We have to accept each other's flaws.
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I do definitely believe that it's important to work with each other's flaws. However, we do need to have standards in order to know if those flaws that they have is something that you can handle because, you know, we all have different things we can handle and what not.
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So as somebody who was recently engaged and who is from parents that both have multiple divorces, I have just used that as examples of what not to make my relationship and yeah I've been...
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So yeah, I feel like I have examples of what not to do and me and my partner have both worked our asses off to make sure that our relationship is a safe place for both of us. And it is a place of refuge and it's kind of a flex. Like me and my partner are fucking besties. Like the fuck?
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Yes, I love this energy and I love how you mentioned that your partner is like your your place of refuge and that is so incredibly important in in a relationship and I think it's good too, you know even though you didn't have maybe the best examples, you can always use them as examples of what not to do.
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In my perspective, the best sentence for me to describe marriage is kind of like a life adjustment. It's all the time you have to do something.
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I've seen successful marriages. I think the issue is people identify with one person's mistake and try to apply it to everyone else's. And that's exactly not how marriage works.
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As my boyfriend and I are preparing for the next steps in our relationship, the one thing that I've honestly learned is that we have to be different than what we've experienced. We have to actively push through past traumas as well.
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