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Okay so I know that I have flaws and insecurities that I'm just like and I'm very open about them with my husband and as much as I'm like oh my god I don't like it I don't like it he's like I love it I love it I love it but my whole thing is is that do you guys ever like even when they're like oh I still love everything about you. Do you ever be thinking that they just like saying that because like they're obligated to say that or is it just me? Because like I believe my husband but at the same time I'm like bro you're so obligated to say that. Like you're so obligated to say that. But um yeah let me know because I just be thinking like hmm yeah yeah yeah you're too far deep into this to change your mind now sir okay um but yeah let me know
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I actually love this question. I think it's very like, I think so too sometimes. I'm like, especially when it's a flaw that you really don't like yourself and they keep on repeating like how much they love it and stuff and I'm like how. But at the same time like what I'm thinking about this is like if you reverse the question, so like when When you think about your husband, for example.
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Like, do you genuinely feel like you love him for his flaws or insecurities? Or do you feel like you're just obligated to say that to him? Because I do think that like, sometimes I have that same thought of like, oh, what if you just say this because he's obligated now. But at the same time, I'm like, if I reverse the question, I'm like, I do love him. Like, for all of him and like flaws and insecurities included. So I think that's a oak.
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I think there's like a cool way to think about it because I do think that if you do that or if you're able to do that, like love someone for their entirety like that, then obviously I think he will as well. And yeah for sure, but it's a funny thought though and I've had it too. And I think it's just hard to admit to yourself sometimes that someone loves you for those things that you might not even love yourself for.
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I truly do and this question it is really funny but I really do love him for all of his flaws. I personally see them as perfections. You know what I'm saying? I love everything about him, whatever he doesn't like I love but like he already has really like a lot of confidence and so like even if someone didn't like what he didn't like he'd be like I'm still like flunk it and I love that about him.
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I really do think that this is such a good question to ask other people too because it's like, hmm Do you actually love them for all their flaws or do you just love them because it's like you're obligated to say it? And so like me and him always have this joke of like, oh, you're obligated to say that and it's like Yeah, we're obligated but I actually really do like, you know So, it's funny, but yeah, no.
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It's not an obligation was more of a choice to decide if you're going to stick around and deal with this person is like good and bad sides because I have been in relationships how guys have told me they're like oh you have depression I'm trying to deal with all that I am trying to be like around you all the time if you're always gonna be sad bloody blah but like a lot of them don't know it's like sometimes I have good days and I have bad days it's not like I'm just sad like literally 100 million times out of the day
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True to that I think that is true to it's definitely a choice if you do want to stick around or not because You could find out someone's flaw and be like, oh, I guess I'll still love you like right but I I feel like at that point it kind of does become an obligation, right?
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I think there's something that comes with a person so you will love the flows and the insecurities of the person that you love
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OK so you had me obligated I'm gonna be honest I did not listen to the whole message because obligated was the word that caught me like kind of like ultimatum I hate that word I'll get it same feeling I guess It's a choice and you want to or you don't and for me it's about a simple as that
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Honestly, I just appreciate the honesty. I'm not even gonna lie, but yes, um, I still agree with you for sure Um, I feel like if you're obligated yet does kind of become a choice because you're like, oh, I can look past whatever flaws they do have, you know? So yeah.
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I love this question because at the end the day or partner should be allowed to decide if those flaws are a dealbreaker but if you're with a partner because you want to be perfect maybe shouldn't be a relationship it's because nobody's perfect and flaws and insecurities allows people to be human
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Oh, okay. Your end sentence, your final sentence, key right there. Flaws and insecurities allow people to be human and I could not agree more. Um, absolutely, absolutely. And yeah, they still should have that option to, you know, whether if they want to accept it or not. But does that mean that they love you for who you truly are? You know? So yeah, I like that though. Good point, good point, maid.
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On the other hand, if you're talking about something that bothers you, it seems like you wanted to improve it or change it or approve it or something like that. And if you've got understanding with your partner completely, he can tell you the truth about it and you can grow together, you know, knowing each other deeper. And yeah, that's about it.
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I literally say this all the time Ivana like I'm like just say something like say the answer without like saying like you're my boyfriend like hello
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yes because i it's like as much as they're obligated to say it i also just feel like they know i guess we have these insecurities about ourselves and so it's like their job to make us really feel like we're beautiful and like we're the best like beautifulest thing out there you know but it's just it's so funny
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So this is either my husband and I deal with that so I am severe ADHD and I'm also autistic he's very type a I used to be a very type a and it's called self editing but I was also very miserable him and it's funny because when I ask him why he loves me he says cause I'm everything he's not and add but also at the same time he is very structured very habitual very
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Very clean except for in the shop it's like his what I would call ADHD tendencies come out and I have a tendency in the bedroom to like have piles of clothes on the floor like I'll get everything picked up and then it's like the tides they come in to go out it gets clean it gets chaos and then it drives him nuts so it's like that a lot of times we find out what we fell in love with someone for we and there's aspects of that that up also driving us crazy
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But you know nobody's obligated love you know but there's also no there's no opposite of love and everything is love which is a pretty intense perspective Mike and I maybe will do a soundbite or some thing like that on it but you would know listen to your God you would know if he's just saying that he really does love you flaws and all it's part of the beauty that is you sister
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First of all, I love that it's almost like yin and yang. You know what I'm saying? Between you and your husband. And I think that's beautiful and like you said too. Nobody is obligated to, I guess, love your flaws or accept your flaws, whatever the case is, right? Um, because you would... I mean, if it's there, if you love someone, like, you're gonna love them through whatever. It's not gonna feel like an obligation.
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or I guess better words, it wouldn't be an obligation. It's just yeah, you love them like that's what it is. It's natural, you know? And also I agree too, yeah, listen to your gut because sometimes those flaws can absolutely be red flags and those red flags will definitely be, sometimes they are not as like up in your face and they will creep up so yeah for sure
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I get it but you know like they safety for who you are you accept them from they are not some thing you're gonna have to just except or you gonna have to work for a second if you really want to be with that person again do you know our well-being are just experience no one's immaculate do you know the things that are imperfections as what we see through and worth it anyways I hope I don't have a cheese
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I agree with you for sure. I feel like I always feel like for my husband his flaws are what makes him perfect. You know, like I wouldn't want it any other way.
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Well it will be an influence from internal lockdown
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