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Talk about how much kids you want on a first date or like at the beginning of a relationship because a lot of people have seen say that's a way to really just like talk about marriage and kids and all that stuff on the first date but me personally I feel like isn't it good to ask those questions that way you know when you agree or disagree on such a big topic that way it doesn't have to continue further than one day you know you don't have to waste any time if you already know agree on you know having no kids or just having kids or something like that No, in fact leave this idea at the time that you're wasting and not also be questioning the answers by the end of the first date, this is not about women's dating lives. These women conduct four interviews on first dates and can't figure out whether or not they can submit dates. The purpose of your first date is to determine if you like this guy's vibe, his energy, and that's the best that I've been in like-hearted, chill environment. You guys can be once kids at this point. It's just the first date. Yeah, I'm not wasting my time going on a date. Just to look for a vibe, I feel like that's a stupidest phrase anyone can say. So what I do is I just ask the important questions because if those answers disagree with any of mine, there's no point in having the second date. So that's why I ask those questions. Yeah, I know it yourself, I wish. It's no surprise that you have no clue about how healthy, satisfied we are since it starts. And because you think that this critical step is not only stupid, but it was the time that you are well on your way to be one of the main women who are miserably married to men who take all their boxes. You, like so many other women who've broken my date, think that a first date is an appropriate time for us this evening, and you pick me into the curb if you don't want my to be your husband because you think that dating them otherwise is a waste of time. But then again, that really speaks to the caliber of man that you choose to date. I am not updating a judge, a police chief, a tax attorney, or a business man with 300 employees, and think that doing so is a waste of time. As women, dating for us is not simply about finding our husbands, but also about expanding our networks because through dating, especially through online dating, we have access to a myriad of high-powered men that we wouldn't have access to otherwise. One of the things that you do will be your husband. Let him find you. In the meantime, stop dating the types of men who are a waste of time to really get around and expand your network. Mind you, I'm not advising you to date these men on, but to build photonic connections with them. This is what dating is. You should not be dating the types of men that you want to come up with just because they don't pass your husband's reign. This is my new proceeding you may be stolen by a date. For all you know, one of those men introduces you to the man you've been marrying.
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Let me be clear and I do plan on making a sound **** about this eventually But I am okay with talking about certain things But the implication here is that I'm interviewing the guy on the first date or ever and I don't Don't do that.
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I'm glad that we now have these 30 seconds, but I still can fit only so much. So on a first date, I'm not worried about his future or his past. I want to know about him. That's my focus. So I'm not going to be doing all of these. how many kids do you want and all of that because who cares if I don't know him. I want to know him.
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Beyond that, I think that questions like how many kids do you want are silly and How do you plan for them? Like let's say that you both agree that you want six kids and then you get married, but It it ends up taking eight years just to get one kid and then you had a horrible pregnancy as a woman and And it was really rough taking care of that one. And you feel like you can't do another one until later. Like, what?
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This is the problem with conducting full interviews, focusing on these unknowns, instead of taking the time to get to know him and his essence, to determine if he is the type of person that you want to do life with. You have no idea what your marriage is going to look like, five, ten, fifteen, twenty, fifty years into it, so what sense does it make to reject a man on that basis.
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My advice is always for marriage-minded women. So, your job is to determine whether this man qualifies to be a husband in the first place, because there are base requirements, and then you need to determine if your values are aligned. That's what is important. It's like we don't know this in the West and cannot figure out why our relationships are so crap.
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An example of values as it pertains to parenting is determining what parenting looks like to both of you. So for him, I want to know what fathering looks like to him. What does he plan on doing for his children? And do I want that for my children? And what does mothering look like to me? What do I plan on doing for my children? Does he want that for his children? I want to know if his plan is basically to turn me into a married single mother because I'm not signing up for that. What are your family values? Do they align?
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For example, I believe that fathers need to actively take over the parenting of their sons once their sons hit the age of 10, 11, 12, somewhere around there. Because it's a father's job to turn his sons into men, he must be able to lead them somewhere. So if a man believes, probably inadvertently, that it's his wife's duty to raise his sons, then our parenting values do not align. It's not a match.
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