I had a very long and toxic relationship with an ex. I had wanted to leave for years, but he would threaten to kill himself and I would end up staying. I finally got the courage to walk away when I was diagnosed with severe benign liver tumors and was told by doctors that it was very important with this type of tumor to immediately and permanently stop taking hormonal birth control. I researched it on my own and confirmed the single most important thing I could do to avoid further complications was to stop taking hormonal birth control for good. I told my then husband about the appointment and he said so calmly, well that's going to be a problem. I was like, what do you mean? I'll go to the gyno as soon as I can get an appointment and then we could just use rubbers until then. Nope. Rubbers were unacceptable because we were married and not having sex until I got to the gyno was also unacceptable, according to him. What really made my blood boil run cold was when he suggested that I should continue to take birth control as normal and just not tell a doctor. He'll never know, he said. Then he went on to suggest maybe I go on and off birth control so I'd be off of it before any of the follow up appointments with this doctor to ensure that he never know. I was totally stunned and I just looked at him and said, you understand this could kill me. This isn't about placating a doctor. This is about my life. He just shrugged and said he wasn't using rubbers and I needed to figure it out. I did figure it out. I left him more than a decade ago and have never been happier.