Just tell them you identify as a toilet.

You get up, tell the teacher she's nice, or if she's not, just say it's an emergency, you have to go to the bathroom, and, um, you know, handle your business. Um, let's see... Wipe off as much as possible, get some, uh, some soap from the restroom, and if you can find a bottle of water, dip your underpants in the water. Drench it out, you know, until the dookie is mostly gone, and then you should be good.

don't panic it's completely normal I do it all the time

Go to the bathroom.

Sit there and suffer.

Enough time has passed.

There's only one thing you can do eat it go to the bathroom and eat it

Go to the bathroom would be the obvious thing to do. Like, and clean yourself up. Like, why would you even ask that on here? Like, are you... What are you trying to accomplish here?