Fell from a two-story balcony, face first.

I got mauled by someone's dog while walking home.

Yeah so basically I was in Rhodesia right and then there was a rhino and it charged at me and the horn went into my like ribs and almost hit my heart but luckily I was able to stop it and then pull out my bare hands and then use the horn to swing the rhino and when he landed on the ground from the 50 foot fall he got knocked out and died.

Went on a lazy with a river that really should have been called fast death trap he sort of slid down one bit into another like Tornadoesque bowl and then another bit into another bowl and and it was full of people and I fell out and I couldn't get up To breathe because there were too many people in their big floaties And she threw me down the second one the same thing happened They were like do you want to go down again? I was like fuck that let me out. I'm walking

all my medication at once.