Another thing that I do is I tend to let other people take the room if I'm in a social, physical situation and I tend to be quite quiet and the baton of conversation is never really passed to me in that instance.

Which is hard to imagine because I'm an absolute fucking gobshite.

Also in the past I've been susceptible to trusting the wrong kind of people because my awareness of the safety around me in a manic spontaneous moment isn't as high as it would be if I was thinking straight, do you know what I mean?

I do know exactly what you mean, Bex. Thank you for sharing and 100% I agree that you are a huge gobshite.

I'm one of those guys who tries to talk as much as possible in the group and always talks and over talks so Um, you know, you kind of make me feel bad to be honest, you know I always feel guilty that i'm talking too much, but now I understand Thank you for telling me i'll look into it more when i'm talking to people who are quieter

Okay, Bex, I love your accent. You have a really nice voice as well. And I would just love to know, like, what are you doing to deal with this kind of stag-

So I realize that I have pretty much replied to all the posts on this sound ****. So why not reply to your post too? Yeah? Hey!

Thank you for your response Liam, I appreciate you. I know it's not always easy to share that sort of stuff, so I appreciate you. You have a fantastic rest of your day.

Okay, you're funny and not every guy is the same. I mean, I can agree with you like partially that they want to fuck but not every guy is the same. Give it a go with somebody who is the same.

with somebody who deserves it and like what about the mental state like does it affect you socially and what is it that you're doing to deal with it I'm just asked

I'm just asking. I don't expect a response. It's just rhetorical in a way. But yeah, it'd be nice if you could just get back with what exactly, what are the steps that you're taking, like action plans, you know.

Unfortunately, it's just a repercussion of being sexually assaulted and constantly being left out to dry by men. And unfortunately, I just can't, I just don't feel comfortable being put in situations with guys anymore.

What I'm doing about it is I'm just never, I'm not going to put myself in a position to get hurt again. If people want to earn my trust, they can earn my trust themselves with time.

Well I can suggest that's the right time to just engage. Engage with your bare hands and devour.

Thank you Soybex, I appreciate your response. Yeah, I think that can be quite a natural response for a lot of people to sort of shut off and shut people out. Thank you, I appreciate you, I hope you have a fantastic day.

Well it sure does and I would love to know like you know in social situations like how to cope with it in the better way like how do you deal with it so you're not you don't come across as

So you don't come across as awkward like one of the techniques that I have recently come across is You have to be just brave for the first 20 seconds and you can count backwards in the first 20 seconds just

and just engage because after that is the momentum that takes over and you're kind of comfortable with it so it doesn't hurt anymore after that. The first 20 seconds are the crucial seconds.

Yeah, I 100% agree. Thank you Casey. I appreciate your response very very much. Hope you have a fantastic day

Yeah, it's more or less like you know when you're in the blanket you don't just get out of in the cold So you just want to stay in the blanket, but if you just show the courage to get out of the blanket I'm care, you know

For just 10 to 20 seconds, then somehow you get comfortable with the cold. You don't mind it anymore in fact, you start enjoying it. So I don't know whether that's the perfect analogy, but to me it seems a perfect analogy, you know?

Whatever makes you uncomfortable, you've got to engage with it. You've got to tame it and the only way you can tame it is by engaging in engaging with it and You just have to be brave for the first time.

And you just have to be brave for the first 20 seconds. During that time, you can count backwards from, let's say, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. You're not even paying attention to it.

Because if you do that for the first 20 seconds after that, the momentum takes over and you kind of grow. Grow over it. You grow over it. I don't know. I don't know.

Hey Salma, thank you for the response. Yeah, I agree. I think that feeling of safety when your mental health isn't great plays a big part. Thank you for your thoughts and your words. I appreciate you.

But those are only people who get it. Like, you know, there's a lot of people who just avoid me, think I'm strange and weird. Also, there's a lot of friends that just don't talk to me because I'm just too much with OCD. I send too many messages. I'm too frequent. Sometimes I'd be a little ritualistic. So, yeah, it's hard.

You know, it's like I'm in the middle, like, you know, older people, you know, definitely I talk to them more, they seem to be more fond of me, they either see themselves or you know, they're just more accepting of how I am as a person.

And then there's people, you know, that are my age, just a little more in their 20s that are more accepting. But it's mostly the people that are like in the 18, like 21 age that they're just kind of like, yeah, that guy's weird.

Well, there's a high possibility that they might not be thinking that you're weird. It's just that you think, that they think that you're weird. But yeah, I'm just saying, because it happened with me.

Because it's happened with me multiple times just a perception game and mostly our perceptions about ourselves You know and then we mauled everything about ourselves accordingly as per our perception, which is not good so

So that's what it is. And even if they think that you're weird, how does it even matter? It doesn't matter at all. So what I normally do is I just focus on myself and...

and the things that I can control so my focus always on the things that I can control mostly about myself not about others as don't bother anybody at all yeah

Thank you so much for responding Nick and making yourself vulnerable. I appreciate you. I appreciate all of your experiences. So, yeah, it's very valuable stuff. Thank you.