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Do you think it's okay to withhold sex from your partner? Let's say if your partner is not holding up the end of their bills or they're not showing any integrity within the relationship. Do you feel as if that's a reason to withhold sex from your partner?
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It depends on what you mean by partner. If this person has not married you, then they're not entitled to sex with you, period. Now within the confines of marriage, it's not okay to withhold sex because that implies emotional abuse. However, it is perfectly okay to refrain from laying there until they're done because it simply will not be the spiritual, holy, transcendent, uniquely human sexual experience that you're aiming for. It sounds like low grade trauma to me. No, you are not obligated to be taken sexually advantage of by your spouse.
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I emphasize spouse because these days we're so into pretending that we're married that it doesn't even register to us that we're not actually. That means that there is no obligation to stay and try to make it work as if we were married. And as far as I'm concerned it doesn't even make sense to put up with that level of dysfunction for someone who has married you. So why would you do it for someone who hasn't.
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Now if this is a marital situation and you have given your spouse an opportunity to change and they refuse, then I recommend taking the L, getting a divorce, and fixing the broken part of you that chose them in the first place. You choose someone who matches your level of dysfunction, period. Yours might manifest in a way that looks better, but the fact that you married them gives it away. And if you do not fix yourself, then you will simply choose another person with a different manifestation and repeat the cycle.
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