I stepped on glass, that sure was painful as fuck.

I rode down a hill at night time on my bike and I flipped off into someone's driveway

I got in a fight with a fat kid over a Twinkie

Um, so like back in third grade my artistier told me to draw something realistic So I drew a minion with a penis on it and it was like butt naked and I showed my whole class and I I got in trouble for apparently drawing nudity, which I never did. It was realistic, bitch. Like.

So like in like third grade like I kind of made up a lie that me and my friend saw killer clown and then the cops came and interrogated mean like because they thought that somebody was at the school and we went on lockdown

I ate a pop tart straight out the microwave

Me and my cousin were at the river and we decided to put our four-wheeler in the river and just like cruise Somehow we flipped it, the bitch broke her arm, and I had to get 8 stitches because I sliced my leg on a rock.

When I was younger I sprayed my brother in the face with WD-40 Karen's eyes I thought the big red button wouldn't like to have the WD-40 come out

I ate paper and cardboard. Like they're a gum. And then I would swallow it. I don't know how I'm alive.

I have two, the one time that I peed in my arms when I made, or the time where I smeared shit all over my brother's wall because he wouldn't pick up my dog's poop.