I've never planned to be 30 I never thought that I would live to see this age like you know when I was a teenager or even before that like when I was a child I had an idea of what it would be like to be a teenager like I would start driving I would get a girlfriend I would work a job or something I guess or like when I was in my early 20s I knew I'd go clubbing and all that kind of shit but like after 25 I have zero fucking blueprint for like what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing with my life I don't have a father you know I don't know any older men like I don't know what the fuck they do they sit on the couch they get fat they watch football I guess I mean like my tits are sagging my face is sagging hairline receding you know I'm getting long in the tooth bro I'm just getting old as fuck and I kind of thought I would be dead by now like I'm just kind of just continuing my life just out of pure circumstance like I just so happen to not get hit by a bus yet or die of AIDS so like I'm just here but like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing dude I'm just kind of floating through life I'm paying bills I'm setting goals and accomplishing them but nothing changes it's like life is life you know what I mean it's just a series of chores that I'm gonna have to keep up with until I die I just I pay bills and I fuck that's all I do I play video games I I guess I go for a walk every now and then I go for a ride in the car I fucking sometimes I shoot guns I you know I eat I eat a lot of food I eat a lot I'm getting fat my metabolism is slowing down it's like bro I'm slowly dying like I can feel it I can feel I'm not long for this world like I'm fading away like I'm washed up it's over