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Moment of vulnerability here and humans being humans, I'm sure that there will be some interesting comments for this potentially. Or people will just shy away. But I had a rather profound awakening awareness. So ever since I was like younger, I was a picker as far as like, you know, popping zits, that kind of stuff. And I know that's gross to some people, but whatever. And I would get in trouble for it. And I had actually forgotten all about it except like, and then it came back up, I should say, because literally like the day before the day of my 40th birthday, I broke out in cystic acne, which is a, you know, something with perimenopause. And then my chickens got mites and I got bites and then it made it worse because I'm allergic to tick and mite saliva and that in and of itself is an interesting story, how I learned about that. But, ended up, you know, just kind of obsessively, like I do it without even thinking about it, like obsessively picking. And the thing that hit me was that, you know, I grew up in a home where nothing was good enough. We weren't praised really. We were always like, we, you got to praise, but then you got constructive criticism. And I realized that that was like a neuroses that I developed or neurosis that I developed in trying to be perfect. Like I would then pick it. Like I felt like I was always getting picked on. So I would then pick on myself because somehow or another, if I could have perfect skin, and it compensated for something. And I wonder if anyone else has that kind of a thing or like you do something that you don't know why you do it. Let me know.
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