I'm so constipated. It's been two weeks since I've gone. What do I do?

Mmm, are you sure you don't have hemorrhoids?

I don't know much about constipation, but bro, you're finna die. It's over with.

bruh

brother you two weeks do you understand how long you need to go to the doctors nah that's that's jarring

You should get some laxatives or like anything that can make you have diarrhea or like you should go see a doctor cuz that's not Healthy at all

Pull. That. Shit. Out.

Drink a bit of water, bruv, and then you'll be calm, and then you'll, like, be shitting everywhere, and you'll have explosive diarrhoea, that is the best feeling ever, anyone agree?

Go to the toilet, big man.