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Mate, to be honest with you, he is Spider-Man, I can vouch. I've seen him flying about the city fucking saving them ginger lasses all the time, mate. I don't know why he's got a thing for gingerbirds, but he does love them gingerbirds, him.
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, puts little kids inside his van. Can he swing from a web? No he can't, cos he's in jail. Look out, he dropped the fucking soap.