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Boundaries absolutely are key here, but the typical advice about boundaries is ineffectual because it emphasizes discussing another person's behaviors with that person, when in reality boundaries are about behaviors, not discussions. Your behaviors, not someone else's. A boundary is set by deciding to be unavailable to experience a human scenario, and it is enforced by refusing by refusing to participate in such a scenario, not by talking about it. Period. A boundary is you leaving a date early and or not going on another date with that person. A boundary is you hanging up the phone or not answering the phone. A boundary is you not answering a question. A boundary is you not allowing the uninvited guest to enter your home. A boundary is not going to be a event you don't want to go to, to you or even earlier if you no longer wish to be there. A boundary is ending a friendship. A boundary is you, safe, no. Enforcing a boundary is not talking to someone about what you do not want to have in you. You can talk about it, but understand that moving forward with someone like this like your behavior is not enforcing a boundary. Why? Because you are still demonstrating your own behavior and you are available to experience the underbrush regardless of your words, and that's all that matters. The only way to see the spirit in a qualified scenario is to refuse to participate in it. you
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