One of the best things about the provider types, aka husband material, is that they are excellent problem solvers. It is to your advantage to take advantage of this. I understand that, as a woman, it can be quite daunting to let go of control and allow yourself to trust men to solve your problems by themselves. You might have deep set limiting beliefs about men not being dependable in that capacity, but it is vital to release those beliefs and give yourself permission to trust men. So instead of going to them with two or three predetermined solutions and allowing them to choose one, go to them with your problems and allow them to choose their own solutions. You'll find that they tend to have a markedly more positive emotional response when they come up with the solutions, and that you'll tend to get what you want this way anyway. They probably won't articulate it in this way, and they might not even be cognizant about it in this way, but the problem is that you are going to them with mothering energy. When a mother offers her children the choice between broccoli and carrots to go with their meal, that's the same energy you use when you ask a man if he's going to pick you up for a date or call out a name to you. For instance, it's unwise to give a grown man options to choose from like that. If you keep doing that, then you're going to eventually turn the healthy man off, and he's probably not even going to understand why, especially if you're a catch on paper. The reason why is because a healthy man is looking for a wife, not a mother. So what you want to do instead is go to him, with the problem. You can say something like, Oh, the thought of spending time with you makes me feel so warm inside, but I don't know how I'm going to get there. If he wants to see you, and that's anything because he could just be searching for entertainment, then he will figure it out. He might offer to pick it up. He might call to a new bar. He might even buy you a car if he has the means to do so, and wants to see you badly enough. He might get something else. Let go of control and let him decide. Then accept whatever he offers, and let's his suggestion is truly misaligned with you. For example, I am apprehensive about a stranger picking me up or knowing my address, so I will likely decline anything that entails that, and I have never had an issue with a man making alterative arrangements. Note that he also might not be able to afford a number, in which case he is not husband material, not because he is unworthy as a human, but because if he cannot afford to transport you to a date, then he certainly cannot afford to be your husband. If you are searching for your husband, then this simply does not suffice. Save it with me. I give myself permission to relinquish control over the situation. I allow myself to allow men to solve my problems. I allow men to be my hero. Amen. I

Yeah, I mean I think men really want to solve the problem I think men also have to be very aware that when a problem arises not to just try to jump to a solution but to talk about it and remember that women are emotional and their feelings are something that have to be talked about too.

Let me be clear. This is the answer to any variation of the question of when do I ask a man for money? How do I get him to share his resources with me? Which might be, you know, how do I get him to pay for the Uber? Or how do I get him to pick me up on a date? And the answer is you don't ask him for money. You don't ask him these questions. If he likes you and wants to provide for you, then he will be asking you how he can help. And otherwise, you just present him with the problem, Not the solution.