Alright guys, you got to hear about this. So there is a guy that messaged me earlier today and basically told me that he really Wants to ask out this girl, but what's stopping him is the fear of rejection And so he wants me to ask you guys what to do and I'm just gonna say this first I want him to know that you know what whether it works or not the worst thing that she could say is no Right and that way you have your answer and you can move forward but she might say yes and things can work out. You know, don't think automatically that she's gonna say no. You never know unless you try, right? But I would love to hear what advice you have to save for the sky.
Oh I love the that idea that you just told him to go for it that sounds ideal but have you ever just went for a good three times and got denied all three times in a row and three times isn't even that much but get denied three times in a row and see how you feel about just going for it it's a little different you know I've been there and getting denied three times in a row will change things it could
That sounds like a self-worth issue, and I understand that it can be very difficult not to internalize repeated rejections, but your worth is never in question. Your worth is not dependent upon whether a woman accepts or rejects your advances. There could be a thousand possible reasons why she rejects it, most of which have nothing to do with you, and even when they do have something to do with you, your worth still is never in question. I know it's tough, but you've got to stop internalizing rejection. and your worth is never in question.
Bro God bless you bro on God Oh my God Rob been in that predicament a lot of times back then on my younger days but yeah man I sense of being in the ass
Okay so I totally disagree. It's got nothing to do with self-worth. It is not a self-worth issue. It's the issue of whether you have the spirit of tenacity, whether you have the spirit of determination and whether you have a spirit of never giving up. Yes, let's be honest, three rejections were hurt with a girl, with a job, with anything but it's about oh I'm hurting right now, let me chill, then let me get back on the horse, let me not give up. It's about being able to continue despite the fact that you're not getting a yes. Got nothing to do with how you...
This may be a surprise to you, but a lot of times in my dating life, I have actually made the first move. And I have a lot of confidence and self-esteem, and if I get rejected, then rejection is redirection. And I have gotten rejected in a bunch of times, and not only that, but other parts of my life as well. And you know what? It's led me to this path of who I am today and I know that's a bit deeper than what you were expecting maybe, but that's just the truth.
I don't know how to respond to what you're saying because you're not responding to what I'm saying. And you're not even really responding to what Mike Davis is saying. He's talking about how it feels to be rejected three times, which absolutely is a self-worth issue. It's an internalization of rejection. You're talking about determination and tenacity and all these things that are not feelings. You're not getting to what he's talking about. Now I don't disagree with you, you're just not responding to anything anyone said.
The way to deal with the pain that companies rejection is to learn how to stop internalizing the rejection. You have to become aware of the negative self-talk and proactively counter it. You are not worthless just because a woman deselects herself. Your negative self-talk is is the number one thing that gets in your way. So if you can conquer it, then you can conquer the world.
What I said is very clear if you listened to it with a calm head. What I said actually deals with the fact that he talks about being rejected three times consecutively and how you feel about that and just going for it after rejection three times and I told him how to deal with that. It's got nothing to do self-worth. I repeat.
Yeah, and you clearly don't have the slightest clue about the psychology of rejection. The problem precisely is the internalization of it, which translates to negative judgments of self. So if you don't learn how to address those, if you don't know how to have the right mindset and simply throw 15 more rejections on top of it, then you're only going to reinforce the negative self-concept. and that will only make it worse.
You have missed the point that the people who can handle rejection well are the ones who have learned how not to internalize it, how not to take it personally, so that being thrice rejected in a row doesn't feel that bad in the first place. They are the ones who can throw themselves into three more rejections in a row and be Okay
Alright, yeah, I feel like if it's three times and you're trying for someone and they're rejecting you, don't try anymore. You look like a fool and you're showing them that they matter a bajillion times more than you and they potentially just may not respect you as much. Now, as far as maybe like a career, apply for the job several times or try different jobs but the same.
Ask her out you're gonna get rejected in your life it's just part of it would you rather like at the end of all this be like man I never took any risk because I was scared of this one thing that's like a huge part of life just part of it ask her out she doesn't like you she's not for you and I don't like I get it someone who like someone right now who's not interested in me it's a bummer the bummer but I'm gonna get over it and saw this dude or maybe she says yes
I think he has a problem with accepting rejection but rejection is part of life you might apply to a job that rejected and if the girl says no it's fine I mean she's not Alaska in the world I could be another one and it will make it much more stronger but he has to accept that whenever you ask him think it might be yes or no it will never be yes
Yes, you say the honest words. I like that for sure. You need to accept it number one because if you're just in denial and denial and denial there are possibly other opportunities for jobs or for other girls that he's missing out on and he's not catching the cue like hey maybe this girl is giving me you know a sign that she's a little interested to me she's giving me the body language you know, positive body language, but you need to accept it and just move on.
You know, move on onto the next, onto the next girl, onto the next job in that field. It's okay. It's literally not the end of the world. Sometimes when you keep trying for the same person, when they keep telling you no, no, no, no, no, they just probably are not going to respect you as much because they see you You don't respect yourself enough to take a no and to be stronger.
Everything you said is the same thing that I would say to a guy and what I do say and I also tell them it's easier because I tell them you know just me as a woman in my own experience the guys that I'm friends with I value that friendship and if they like me and ask me out and I reject them I still value that friendship and I'm not going to you know make it seem like that it's this be-all end-all
I really truly value my friendships with people and one of my best friends he had the biggest crush on me and he always asked me out and I just told him I was honest I don't like you that way but you are like one of my best friends like my brother and I like because I value your friendship so you know there's nothing to be afraid of on that and for these dudes
But as me as a woman I noticed that when I get to know a guy and we're friends and I really enjoy our friendship if I do end up developing feelings and I tell them it's like they get weirded out and creeped out and then they like wanna all of a sudden step away from it all and it's kind of like what why Like what is that
And now I know anyone who doesn't value a friendship and treats you weird because you have a crush on them and then once all the sudden ruin the friendship because you have a crush on them and they can't like live with that somehow I think they probably weren't a friend in the first place but that fear is there and fear is very much there
I hope that makes sense like I hope that makes sense because like I'm not coming from a dating app perspective I'm coming from a perspective of these are people who got to know each other they built a friendship or some kind of you know connection that's Deeper than a dating app kind of thing
So basically I he needs to just ask her out and he needs to just take that plunge because I'm telling you right now I kind of have an idea when like guys have a crush on me and I'm into that guy but I want him to take that step so I don't have to because like I said I'd like for the guy to take the initiative for a change instead of me putting everything on the line you can tell I'm frustrated right now because of personal situations that are Current
You know what? I think the problem a lot of men have is that the worst thing a woman could say is not no. They cannot take it for granted anymore that a woman will be polite about it. I work with women on their relationship skills, getting them from single to married, and rejecting men gracefully is a skill that we have to work on. This is something a lot of women do not know how to do and a lot of men fear that.
I advise men to do the same thing I advise women to do. Practice on the ones who don't do it for you. In this case, the only way to overcome the fear of rejection is to be rejected over and over again and experience being okay from that. And the best way to do that is to make the rejections low stakes. You know, don't practice on women you think are gross or something, but practice on the ones who don't do it for you. That way, who cares? And practice dating the ones who don't do it for you because that way, who cares? up your skills for when the time actually comes.
I would advise him to get out of his comfort zone. There's no way around that. And ask out one woman per day. And I don't mean go up to her and just immediately ask her out. But you know, strike up a conversation. Yes, it'll probably be awkward. You know, this is a skill set that you have to develop, but you will develop it in time. And just ask out one woman per day and eventually ask out more. And you will be rejected more often than not. But that will help you get over the fear of rejection because you will be rejected a lot and you will be okay. Thank you.
Lastly, just know that the nerves probably will never go away. The fear probably will never go away. What you are developing now is the courage to work through the fear. Okay, you don't get over the fear of rejection. What you do is push through the fear. What you do is don't allow the fear to stop you. And the only way you do that is by doing it.
That is some thing I don't we have issues with fear of rejection or just like wanted to be liked by literally everyone like even like platonic relationships and friendships in them and so I'm very much people pleaser and I've definitely been weaning off of that as I get older and just really focusing on me what makes myself happy but it's always hard to kind of completely not think about you know
Honestly, how I feel is that you should just take shit how it is because at the end of the day life goes on So, you know what? Just take it and move the fuck on. That's what I do.
I don't know you so here's the question are you the girl wouldn't that be something anyways so if he has rejected he shouldn't take it personally you know everybody has their own choices that they choose and people and it ain't even right sometimes so I mean these got options not to stop trying you know not with her but I mean other women anyways that's just my little two cents I get my change back.
Like they always say, you just got to go for it. Like, or somebody can say it's no, but hey, you move on. So I think you should just go ahead and go for it.