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Evelina Andersson

Breaking up with friends. Thoughts? #friendship

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Pura Bri Relationships • 585d

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Breze Kimble-Moore • 585d

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Analis Floyd • 583d

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Evelina Andersson• 585d

Let's talk about friendships today. I did a sound **** about friendship a few weeks back and I wanted to come on here today to talk about breaking up with a friend. Now I feel like ending friendships is something that we don't really discuss a lot. Ending relationships with someone who you're romantically interested in is a lot more commonly used in conversations and more seen as more normal, I think. But when it comes to ending friendships, it is more tricky and I feel like there are a lot of great areas in the subject. So I wanted to ask you guys, have you ever ended a friendship and why and what was your perception about it.

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Pura Bri Relationships• 585d

Evelina? Okay, I hope I said that right. Evelina, did I say that right? Um, this is a great question. Um, wow, yeah, that's a great question. I had to cut off a few friends this year, just due to several reasons, things not, like, our interests not aligning anymore, kind of lack of disrespect. Me adding more boundaries to my life, I noticed that some people were benefiting off those lack of boundaries. you

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Pura Bri Relationships• 585d

And it's not easy breaking these friendships up. It's like you're actually having a breakup with a partner. Obviously not as deep and emotional for me because I wouldn't get as deep and emotional with my friends as I would with a partner. But it's not easy and it really really sucks and you feel the pain you grieve a bit.

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

Yeah, absolutely, you said it right, Evelina. How do you say your name? Pura? Sorry, that might be totally off, but that's how I would pronounce it. But yeah, no, it's definitely, I think that not as many people are talking about breaking up with friendships and those reasons that you said, I'm very sorry to hear that, but I think they're very common reasons actually for taking that step to like breaking up with friends.

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

Because kind of like in any relationship we meet people at a certain time and if we don't develop in the same pace or like the same time with them it might be tricky to keep it up if they don't respect the new boundaries and the kind of growth that you're making. So yeah, I totally get that and like you said as well, it's it is super tough. I'd say it is equivalent to bringing up with a partner but just in a different way kind of and I think with friendships.

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

Like it's not always as clear that like often in romantic relationships it's like super clear that like okay there's no way we can move forward here but I feel like with friends it's like a bigger like gray area in that sense so yeah it's super tricky.

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Breze Kimble-Moore• 585d

definitely you are on point with these questions today girl yes breaking up with friends and stuff I had a guy best friend and me and him were really cool like Rich Hill but I feel like once I met my husband that's when I feel like he started to really push the boundaries he knew how I was or am like you know when I'm with someone with a guy so...

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Breze Kimble-Moore• 585d

I don't know. He just knew that he knows how I am when I'm with someone or when I was like in a relationship or whatever. And so it was just he really did cross boundaries and I told him and he still proceeded to do it. So that's the reason why we definitely had to not be friends anymore and it's okay. It's sad. But at the same time, I'm not going to disrespect my relationship or my husband. That's that.

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

Thank you for sharing this. I definitely think that sounds very sad that he wasn't able to respect those boundaries and especially if he knew you that well that he knew how you were with guys in general then I definitely think he should have respected that and any good friend would have really just been okay with it and just been supportive rather than kept kept on pushing it especially when you told him and we're open and honest about it.

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

And I think in those moments it's pretty clear that like if your friend can't be there for you and can't be supportive then I don't think it's really a friend worth keeping around because a friend has got to respect every part of your life and every change that comes into your life as well whether it's meeting a new partner or something else So I definitely think that, but I get that it's like rationally it's the right thing to do but emotionally it's always really tough and it's easy for me to say about it wasn't in the situation but yeah it sounds very tough.

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Analis Floyd• 583d

So I've definitely had to end our friendship unfortunately and I had had that friend for a really long time and I've shared some moments with that friend that I've never had with anybody else and so I'm gonna tell you the story about why I ended up friendship and how I ended it because I ended it in a bad way

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Analis Floyd• 583d

So I had already considered ending the friendship a few times because of some shady things she's done in the past but my final breaking point was when she was supposed to take my scene of my graduation photos I had moved my schedule and everything around to Taylor to her availability and an hour before we're supposed to go shoot she cancels on me because there's a spider in her car

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Analis Floyd• 583d

And so after that I was super upset because like she basically gave me her word and then canceled on me and I had already paid her and so at that point I just blocked her on everything like no explanation

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Analis Floyd• 583d

But it was one of those friendships where if you don't put the work in to talk to that person then they you don't hear from them basically and she had her own mental issues that she was dealing with like her depression and anxiety and all of that and I was fully understanding but like I would call her and she would play video games and talk to her friends on the video game and act like I wasn't even on the phone

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Analis Floyd• 583d

And so after a while I was just drained from having to put all the effort into having the friendship and so once I stop putting the effort in I stop hearing from her and it made it really easy for me to remove her from my life and so far my life has been driving without her in it

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

Wow, thank you so much for sharing this story. I think it's very very interesting to hear about and I Definitely think that from my perspective that you were in the right about ending this it does seem like a toxic relationship in a sense and like I understand that as a friend it's like very easy to Feel that like oh, I understand the person. I know she's she or he are dealing with their own struggles and they're having these issues and etc.

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

But like when that goes too far there's only so much understanding that we can share or give sort of like when it goes too far, when it's taken advantage of and it's just a given that you're supposed to be forgiving about those things then I think the relationship has gone too far and that disrespect has sort of just spiralled too far. So I think that you are definitely giving like doing the right thing by giving up on that end.

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

I can totally see how that like her photographing your you for your graduation and not showing up was definitely like the the last breaking point. I totally can see that of like everything else you you shared and I think that especially one of those moments like a graduation it's kind of like a once in a lifetime experience and if they don't show up for that and especially because of such such as Hillary's and as a spider, then I think it's like, that says everything kind So I understand why you went that route.

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Evelina Andersson• 582d

But with that being said, I know that it's so tricky to have these endings with friends and it's not like an easy decision at all but it does seem like you hit the breaking point and that it wasn't so much a question anymore and I'm very happy to hear that you're thriving without her and it does seem like you could have better friends and be better off without that in your life so yeah I'm happy for you in that sense.