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Okay, so this is gonna be me more emotionally unloading on you guys. So sorry. But I just learned some news about my family today and to give you a background My family and I are just having some issues. My mom fired me in January. My brothers in my family have never made an effort in my kids lives And so once my mom fired me in January and she told me they've known for like a year that they needed to let me go I was pretty much done and over it and so come to find out I'm gonna be an aunt again but I learned of course from my grandma not my brother so I'm just I'm upset because it just goes to show like I never told my brothers I'm done communicating with them I told my mom I was done communicating with her my My dad's never reached out. So I just, nobody's reaching out and it just kind of sucks. And now I'm finding out the one time I reach out to a family member, AKA my grandma, I freaking learn that I'm gonna be an aunt again. And it's just really shitty. Cause it makes me feel like I need to cut ties with everybody. Cause like this hurts. Like I, I've deleted a lot of social media because it was really hard seeing how frequently my brothers hang out together. So how frequently my one brother hangs out with my niece, but then like they're non-existent for my kids. Like my kids don't even know them. Like when my brothers try to go up to my kids, they're terrified of them. And then my brothers shoe them off or like go away and never give them another chance because they don't act like buddy buddy with them, even though they've never ever made an effort to be in their lives. So it's just, it's really upsetting, but I know nothing would be different if I was still in contact with them because this is just them.
I unfortunately can totally relate to this absolutely nobody in my family has made an effort to meet or to have a contact with all three of my children. So I'm sorry you're going through that.
I remember you telling me about that Melissa and I'm so sorry that you also know How much this sucks and hurts? I felt like I was doing so good and this just hit me out of nowhere.
I definitely get that. There are some days where I do really well not having any contact with my mom and then there are some days that it just hits me hard.
And it's been four years since I have had any contact with my mom and she's missed out on so much my life from my wedding and the birth of my last two kids.
Girl my heart like first of all it just blows my mind because this is just another thing that I can so relate to you on because I am not close with my brothers either and they don't really make much of an effort
And at a certain point I kind of stopped reaching out. It felt a little bit like I was like begging them to in my kids life, you know? And now I kind of just send like a Christmas card at Christmas and like that's pretty much it. the only way that I reach out to them, but...
My older brother has twins and I've never met them, never spoken to them. He's never talked to me or told me about them and and it's really exciting for him because he never thought that he could have kids and he always wanted to.
So it's just like I Really hope that one day like my kids can know their cousins Like that's just the saddest part to me like I don't even really know what I did. I really don't he moved and
I don't know somewhere along the way we just stop talking and I don't know he's never responded back to my attempts to reach out so I guess it's just one of those things where you just kind of let go but I totally understand it's so hard it's so sad
And yeah, like there's nothing to say that won't make that better. just know that unfortunately I understand and it's really really hard and and not everyone does understand, so.
I remember you telling me that you have a really, really similar story to me. And yeah, it's crazy how much we have in common, like completely crazy. And I'm so sad to hear that you know exactly.
what i'm going through because this sucks and it's really crappy to hear how much like how many people go through the same thing but it's also really sad like why
And you're right, like nothing you say will make it better. Like you know the pain. Nothing's going to take that pain away. And I know that this is going to keep happening. The more I hear things about them and whatnot, but I'm just really hurt that Thank you.
They never even like reached out to tell me and I had to find it out this way But yeah, the same thing like I felt like I've been begging them and I'm done begging and it just sucks because because now it's just they're done with me.
And that just shows me that they never were really, they never really prioritized or cared about us. Cause yeah, it just sucks. And I know, you know, the grief comes in waves and right now it just is really hard.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and as sounds absolutely horrible and you do not deserve this everyone deserves a village I too do not have one so I feel for you and I hope it gets better in the future
That I see you I hear you and my heart goes out to you I am the black sheep of my family I moved away and I'm really young and so you're not alone you really aren't alone it's OK
The black sheep is the one that like we just we see the bullshit McCall it out in the dysfunction and you're just meant for more and maybe it'll circle back maybe it won't but it's just create a new family you really can't I promise
I remember us talking about this and I actually found out about my father having his daughter for my parents because they don't talk to me but now she's like or but they don't
They have never made an effort to be in my kids' lives. The last time we saw them was back in October. But their other daughter, their youngest, They are all over her and she's like perfect in their eyes.
And like if my husband and I ever like and need help with anything they toss out while you're adults you need to figure out on your own but now if the younger sister ask for help up it's like oh yeah here you go I will do this fitness for you
And they'll do anything and everything for her. Then while like my husband and I, we are getting talked about behind our backs and saying that we're the bad people and yeah, it's ridiculous and childish and I stay out of it, we stay out of it.