Hey Vibes, I'm not exactly sure if I understand your comments to my post, but what I will say is this post isn't meant to be sinister or dark or something to be quite concerned O's. In fact, it's the opposite.

No, I know what you mean, Moon. I'm just saying like, you know, when someone says something that hits home, It's that feeling. That's what I meant. Because this definitely is that comment. It sure is.

Oh, okay. Well, thank you for further clarifying. I'm happy that my post hit home for you, that you could resonate with it. It's taken me some years to get to this part of my healing journey and I'm very happy to be at this point. So, I'm happy someone else can see the message as well.

Sure it did, Moon, sure it did. Sure it did. It was like the New York train ride, you know, and you, when the doors brought the clothes on the train, ding dong. Sure the fuck did.

But my thing is, like, if you get into a point where you feel like, alright, my past is what it is, how the fuck you go about moving on without completely losing your shit? Because that's the part that I want to know. Because don't tell me no yoga. Don't tell me no weed, because it's got to be some shit stronger than that. Because, like, I believe in prayer, But people make it hard.

Grand Rising Gorgeous, please give me today to think of an adequate response to give you. I have ideas in my head now, but I want to be able to put it in a 30 second response to you. So, good question. Excellent question. I will definitely get back to you.

You are correct. I too also have a compounded trauma. I have a diagnosis of PTSD and battered woman syndrome and it's been a bitch to deal with. It's taken me many many years to come to this perspective. So I agree.

It is not easy to forgive a layered past, especially done by monsters, which is the reason why I'm not a believer in forgiving people that have truly scarred me. All throughout my life I've heard, oh forgive people so you can be forgiven of your sins. You know that bullshit religious crap that people say to each other when in reality they were just minimizing my pain. You

It's possible that they didn't mean to minimize my pain with those words, but when I left religion over two years ago, specifically Christianity, I came to the understanding through my healing process through my spiritual journey that not everyone deserves forgiveness, especially the monsters that have plagued my past. So yeah.

One of the most freeing moments for me in learning that I don't have to forgive everyone that have truly scarred me in life because they have done things to me that are unforgivable and I will not be condemned for it. That's truly freeing.

One of the brainwashing teachings that I was taught in religion, Christianity, was in God's eyes all sin is the same. And God judges all sin the same. And for me that actually held me prisoner for a long time because I really couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, cried, couldn't find forgiveness for the sins done against me.

No matter how much I prayed, read my scriptures, pondered on the words of God, you know, from the Christian faith. No matter how much I wrote down my thoughts and feelings in a journal, no matter how I set boundaries, sought counseling, etc. to forgive, I just couldn't find myself forgiving.

One of the most valuable lessons that I have learned in my personal spiritual journey the past two years is if there is a God, which I do believe there is a Creator, I don't believe it is the Christian version of God or the Muslim version or, you know, I'm, that's just me personally. But one of the most important, I hate that these things are 30 seconds long.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned on my spiritual journey is if there is a Creator, He or She or whomever wouldn't judge every imperfection, every sin, weakness against another's and judge it the same. Because there are my sins, for example, the sins I have committed are forgivable, but the sins that were done against me as a child and as an adult?

The things done to me as a child and as an adult and the things that have been done to my children by the hands of the same monster, those sins are heinous and depraved and come straight from the depths of darkness, straight from the depths of hell. And my sins and their sins are not the same. theirs are unforgivable mine are.

And when I realized that not all sins are created equally, it was then that I became a believer of not forgiving people that are heinous, depraved individuals that hurt children and women. So, or hurt anyone in a heinous and depraved way. And that right there is where I found freedom.