So I swear to God this is a 100% true story. Years ago I saw a guy on a dating app whose username was 9 1β2 inches. I could not fucking resist. So I messaged him and I said, hey, your profile name doesn't mean what you think it means. You need some more words in there nine half inches actually equals four point five inches he replied back no it really is nine and a half inches do you need me to get a ruler and see and I said no I am not telling you that your dick is not nine and a half inches I am telling you that nine half inches does not mean what you think it means my dick is nine and a half inches I'm telling you I can show you do you need me to show you? No. I am explaining to you that one half plus one half plus one half plus one half plus one half plus one half plus one half plus one half plus one half equals 4.5. And he did not get it. And I said again, I'm not telling you your dick isn't that size, okay? I'm just trying to say, So, okay, fine. An entire 24 hours passes. And then I swear to God, he slides into my DMs And he goes, hey, beautiful.