Virgos experience their lucky month in August. It's their time for their meticulous attention to detail and analytical abilities to be rewarded.

Like, the stars don't do fuck all, like, oh sorry I'm Scorpio, that's why I just ran over a mother of six, that's not how it works, that's not how it works, the stars do fuck all, like oh yeah it's my lucky month, oh I'm gonna gamble, I'm gambling, oh, shiver me timbers, shut up.