I am... hey, um, mommy, come what this does, mo-mo-moibian.

What the hell?

I bought you an iPhone, or a better phone, for better camera quality, please! I love you! You look so pretty! So, so nice, so great, so amazing! So great, I like your shirt!

Um, bitch, why you, how, why you like, where's your, why, where's your natural face? You got me stuttering over here, come to think of what to say to you, girl, like, girl, your face hiding underneath all that goddamn makeup, your eyebrows thick as fuck, look like fucking caterpillars on your shit, *****, you got spiders on your eyes, your lips look like fucking fruit, fucking peaches and shit, like, bro, get some help, please.

What fucking Android bullshit is that? Now, are your titties big?

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

Oh my gosh, it looks like a peach barbie doll.

meow

I'll give, uh, probably like 7.5, 8 out of 10.

Y'all are so pretty for real.