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They have to understand and know that and women have to know it too. So don't beat yourself up because he didn't put a gun to your head. He did what you allowed him to do. Take that. Take your accountability. And......
I don't believe women are aware that they have that superpower. Like it's totally accessible to women to see that and to know it, but I don't think a lot of women use it. But yeah, women have all the leverage in most relationships.