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So I was with one of my really good friends today and we actually talked about this subject which I wanted to ask you guys about. So when someone asks you if you're okay or how you're doing, what do you say? Do you say I'm okay slash fine? Or do you genuinely tell them how you really feel? Because I don't know if it's because I'm an extrovert or what. But I just say honesty is the best policy. I love conversing with other people and I will tell them what's up if they ask. You know, I'll say oh I could be better or it's so so or I feel wonderful, you know, I just genuinely answer. But my best friend is an introvert and she just doesn't like having conversations like that. So she'll just say oh I'm fine and just keep it there. So yeah I just want to hear your I hope you guys' perspective on this because I love hearing from other people. So yeah, let me know.
It depends on who it is. I have some people in my life, they're not bad, you know, but they're genuine shit listeners. They can't, they can't listen for shit. Then I have other people in my life who really hold space. They listen and they ask questions and inquire back, you know, they're engaged. They're engaging with everything. So yeah, it just depends.
I absolutely love this answer that you just said and it's so true because yeah it really does depend on the person But for me, I just try to genuinely explain how I am But you're right There's also people who hear but they don't listen and that is so frustrating Especially when you're trying to express how you feel in the moment, right? But no, really, really, really appreciate where you're coming from and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week.
I could not really even more because like I try to speak they hear they don't listen goes from one year out the other and then they don't acknowledge anything I say because sometimes I even talk to them about their behaviour and they just don't listen it goes from one ear to the other so I'm just not gonna say anything and it again depends lube on the person for me but usually
It's frustrating huh? I'd say continue to speak your truth. You know even around the people that have shit listening skills because you're gonna find the tribe that listens to you inquires and is curious about you. Don't give up. I actually found out that there are two different kinds of people with speaking Conversating skills.
The communication styles are neurodivergent and neurotypical. Go ahead and research it and then you can honestly observe around in your environment which person has which kind of speaking style. I can teeter-totter between both but I do feel more seen in a neurotypical conversation. But yeah, it can be tough and it's just like learning each other, right?
I feel like I like to share what I'm feeling depending on who I am talking to and if I feel safe and like talking to them so it depends on who the other person is I'm talking to and like but I love expressing myself even if I'm in a good mood or bad mood I love like sharing how I feel so I think it's healthy if you can
Sometimes when people ask you how are you or are you okay? They're not genuinely concerned. They're asking because they either get a kick out of like they find it amusing that you're in emotional pain, that you are sad or unhappy and they want to know what is causing your displeasure, your discomfort and your unhappiness. But other times, sometimes when people ask you are you alright or are you okay, sometimes they're genuinely concerned. So it depends. My answer depends on their intentions and why they're asking.
Honestly I just say I made it because it's all you can do that's all we that's all we really can't do and I just say we're making it because when I get down to it no I'm not OK but you know it's as to that point where you have to choose of what you wanna do and honestly the best part is staying positive and the negative times even when your worlds falling apart are you Gotta make sure I want to else still intact That is the best thing to do now if you
Honestly anytime someone ask me how I'm doing I'm just like I'm good how are you you don't like I just kind of answer them constantly even if I'm not doing my best because like I don't wanna burden you with my problems
So for me it depends on who's asking. In general my answer would be I'm okay I'm fine but with my good friends, my best friends, people who I'm close with who I usually let my feelings out, I would definitely let them in on my real feelings. Thank you.
00 OK this is easy arm so if it's somebody random I'm just say I'm OK but if it's one of my ride or die as best friends whatever you call them I'm just straight up practically puked my whole heart out basically
Yeah I just saying like the automatic I'm fine because I think that Beth people just used it as a greeting like as like an automatic greeting they don't actually want to know so like little lady HSBC and see what her walking by you like the mountain I stop in to hear you or nothing and I'm pretty sure I'm guilty of it so I can't think what time that I've done it but I'm sure I have done it
That's actually a really valid response, so thank you for taking the time to answer, because I have had a lot of people tell me that as well. It's just ingrained in our society to just ask that. It's not like we're wanting to know the answer. But I mean, I personally love engaging in conversation, but I know not everyone is the same way. So I do appreciate you sharing your perspective and I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
No I don't want to speak for all men but at least 90% of men when someone ask are you fine regardless of how we're actually feeling happy you said add whatever or default answer is usually yeah we're fine because it's easier to say you're fine didn't actually explain how you feel I don't know that could be me though