So earlier today this guy reached out to me in DMs here asking us to help him out. He's a very nervous guy and time and time again he's having trouble asking out a woman because of his shyness. Like he really wants to be in a relationship. He just can't seem to form the words to ask confidently on you know having a woman by his side and so what should we tell him him here because I want to say that life begins outside your comfort zone and nothing changes if nothing changes. You know you have to like fake it till you make it. You know and I really really do wish him all the best in his dating life And yeah, I would love to hear what you guys have to say to him.

It depends on what's causing it. If he has social anxiety disorder, for example, then telling him to just go for it probably won't work, and he needs to go to therapy or do something that's capable of addressing it. Now I also wonder if he has strong meninist circle who are at least a generation or two older than him, because if he doesn't, then he might want to build up that first, because their strength and courage and resilience and confidence will rub off on him.

So shyness comes from his insecurity that he's not good enough so the first thing he needs to do is start working on his self care his self preservation once he thinks he's good enough you'll have no problem reaching out asking for dates

I'm truly not a believer of faking it till you make it. I'm truly into sincere when you move. So if you truly want something different, you got to do something different. If you want change, you have to change. So he's got, I truly believe in what you say about he's got to step outside his comfort zone. I totally agree with that. Because then after a while it will no longer be uncomfortable.

I would suggest to practice by talking to people that you don't have a crush on or you don't like romantically and just getting comfortable putting yourself out there. Maybe ask them a question that makes you a little bit nervous. Like ask them to do something like as a friend, don't leave them on of course, but like ask them something a little bit out there for a favor maybe that you would be nervous to and just kind of practice that way and then it won't seem so scary when you move to the girl you like.

So I was actually a very shy person when it came sleep and when it came to anybody outside our family or family friends I don't know how to describe it I was just really introverted I guess but what really help me was getting a job that required me to come out of my comfort zone and that was honestly a restaurant job like it is things like that can help

Honestly the way I see it if the dude is shy he's not ready for a relationship at all like but he should find ways to build his confidence doing things outside his comfort zone things that he normally wouldn't do on a day-to-day basis that I make them feel uncomfortable like some white shit they make them like they make a doable but loosen them up a bit you know I'm saying just get outside of the need to get outside That's it just two more things that you normally wouldn't do in certain situation you know I'm saying

To echo what other people have said here I think number one he needs to get better at understanding himself and being comfortable with himself so him saying that he's looking for a relationship or really want to win by side yes of course but if you go into it with any form of desperation behind it then that's gonna read really badly the second thing is when it comes to speaking to people can use the approach as if you'd approach any interaction just be friendly and get into the flow stop thinking about it as if it's any sort of

And also I go by the standard, how badly do you want it? Do you truly want it? because if you truly want it, you're gonna go and get it.

I say dating apps like it's taboo and I was looked down upon that might be I found very successful relationships on there I'm currently in one going on three years so it works out sometimes and it's a great resource for people who are a little shy or to approach people especially in today's day and age where you don't know really who you can and cannot approach