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What are the important questions you need to be asking when you start dating especially someone new I think this is something we try to avoid because we're very much in the early stage very much in the fantasy stage we don't wanna ruin the fantasy and the excitement that we have with someone so we completely avoid this so it doesn't really I think one thing that has come to my mind is asking if the password kids because you'll be shot a lot of women do not want kids and a lot women do If there is it is it's all based on who you are I think for me I do definitely want kids however I'm very open to outsourcing so what I mean about outsourcing is I don't necessarily think I need to camera in children so I would have to ask very early on if my part is the person I'm dating or my partner whoever would be okay with this because shockingly some men do police women's bodies and think this is outrageous so I would have to be there in a moment with someone who is open to this I am yeah into this way of procreate and there's a look there's other many important questions that we should be asking so we can just you know cut the Cord Quickly but I would love to grab your thoughts
I thought I took the kids questions a good one but honestly like what do you want to do like for the rest of it I would like where do you see yourself going at like you don't need to have like a specific plan like some people do but a rough idea of like where you wanna go because like you don't wanna be with someone that has no idea what they want to do with their lives
How many is that actually a good one and I did ask a guy this and he told me he doesn't want to work he wants to be given everything in life and he can't be bothered and I was so fascinated by that answer and his whole demeanour and everything that followed after let me know that this was not it he was so I'm an ambitious it was yeah it was was probably one of the worst dates I've been on but definitely a key question thank you for sharing
That's an interesting question that I didn't think would land here. May I ask, are you a virgin as well or is this just an expectation and a standard set on her part.
I don't think that's something you can really awesome and I think it's just something you're gonna have to see in action because if you or someone or what is your hygiene like they're going to say I'm a clean person you know all the pets are not say they're clean I don't know what world we live in but I mean I am a clean freak I cannot lie to you like my space has to be clean I am And I don't actually mind doing the cleaning in my relationship because I just like things in a particular way but yeah what the person say I'm a dirty person I don't know
I'm always curious about the relationships with their family. And of course, yeah, like, oh, I love my brother, I love my sister. But then it's like the deeper conversations, like what was it like growing up as a child for you? Because knowing how they grew up as a child tells you a lot about who they are currently. Especially in the way that they love, the way that they speak to people, the way that it act, it lets you know a lot of things.
Also another thing to look out for is what their friends and family say about them especially things like I like a little sister randomly saying I'm on is Joseph is so give him all his friends saying oh he's such a selfless guy those things kind of help you paint a better picture of how he is respected in his surroundings
To be honest I think it just depends on what phase of life you're in if you're in a phase of life where you're actually planning for the future planning for children and planning for a serious commitment then you need to ask those questions early on because somebody may not be in that same phase of life and that's perfectly OK it's nice if you don't waste your time and if you just ask them like hey are you just trying to date around and you're not into serious commitment or you know I didn't get the serious questions at the way you can see where somebody's lined up at you
Yeah thank you/I definitely agree like the 29-year-old in me would definitely ask different questions to the 21-year-old Tiana I'm so it's definitely based on like where we're at and I'm sure that when I'm older if I was still dating them those questions were definitely look different but I think it's so important to get those questions out the way especially if it's part of your morals and values and non-negotiables
I think one of the first things you need to ask before going into a new relationship or what are your intentions within the relationship people have different angles and date for different reasons and if you were not on that same page and you have totally two different expectations on where you want this relationship to go it's going to be completely unsuccessful and it's not fair to either partner
Thank you so much for sharing Jess I definitely agree because you might be thinking oh my days he's so into me he's serious and these times he's dating five other girls and he's an exact same thing and he's giving you guys the same treatment it might be great treatment but you might see it and view it and like something else it's kind of make communication at the end of the day will allow you to not assume
I didn't mean things to kind of establish early on our where are your values and what are your life goes because like you said if someone really doesn't want kids and someone is like Despertar the family then they misaligned the ventricles in the same way as someone's opinion on something is vastly different of the values like they think something is horrible in the past think it's totally okay then that's also I think he's asleep
No that's a very very good that's a very good question and as she is something I don't ask about what are your values wow no thank you for putting that on my radar because I think that's so important even the example that you gave like even if that person never believed in that because I bypass it even know that I am Is it something I can compromise on and be like you know what I can adjust to this
Or is this something I'm like helping no wouldn't do this lady lady that one of my values is abstaining so I believe in sex after marriage so the person I'm with we definitely have to be on the same page like as me but if they have never considered it but open to it that small that's more appealing to me then someone is like oh no no no I could never say yeah you're definitely right about the values
I'm not sure but like important questions but I deafly feel like it's important to but not for too hard too quickly because then regardless of any question you ask them if you're just gonna immediately agree with the point and in the long run maybe Rashid to screw in a player they said so I've left them for typically
Yeah do you know what you are absolutely right I think in the early stages it's so easy to be agreeable about everything because you really like that person but to be slow to fall for that person is so important just delayed gratification to be honest like just delaying that period so you can really see that person for who they are
I think you were kind a like if mainly if we're sassy with who we are I think that's more important now because like you guys have a partner cool but like I think you have to ask a question are you good with who you are first before ever like things out of the partner you know
I feel like the less questions you ask sometimes the better and you just like actually let yourself get to know a person and like they reveal they say to you but if you are so that wants kids so it doesn't want kids that's probably a good thing to know
As great as that sounds I think it's just easier to just not waste each other's time especially if you have core values that you need to make sure are aligned at the beginning i.e. the kids like depends especially as well depends on the age that you are a 30 something yeah I'll probably can't wait too long and has to cut to the chase as opposed to someone who is in the early 20s who is allowed to go with the flow and just see how it is if that makes sense