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How many weeks are you due, love?
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I'm not gonna kiss it, but it definitely is so fat. So fat that when you sit on the sofa, it starts sinking into the floor. There's probably a dent on the floor by now. Every time you jump onto your bed, a bump falls out.
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Like, when you fart, an alarm for running to a bomb shelter turns on because they thought a bomb dropped in the area. Goddamn.
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The only person you ask I will be kissing is my girlfriend. Just sayin' bruh.
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