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Right, well clearly the trust is gone so you might as well just break up before it gets any worse innit. There's no point sharing it on here or anything, this should be a private matter between you and him. Do you know what I mean? Or speak to a therapist. I don't think you should be sharing this on here. But erm, yeah, clearly the trust is gone, just break up. It's that simple.
But, if you want our opinions, people's opinions, then my opinion is I reckon he is cheating, and this is coming from a guy. Cos I did similar shit when I was younger, and it was cos I was cheating, I was chatting to other girls and shit. If he's being that defensive and secretive about female friendships he has, then it's clearly obvious. Think about if the roles were the other way round, if it was a female with guys, guys would think the same about the girl.
As soon as the moment you feel like you've lost the trust to the point that you've got to check his phone and that because of how he's been acting, then he's failed as a boyfriend and he's made you lose trust, therefore the relationship is just doomed anyway, therefore you might as well just break up. There's no point wasting any more time.
You know what I don't understand in this day and age is like, why are people so quick to give themselves away to people over a verbal agreement? You spent three years with this guy over a verbal agreement.
You know, just the fact that you have to think about looking in the phone is enough to know that, like, something is wrong. It's not normal. Once you have real bad trust issues, and then it's either way, it should be an open book. Messages, contacts, photos, there should be nothing in there that's private if you're sharing your personhood with someone.