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So basically, my friend Jamal gave me this one story. We were at 7-Eleven buying condoms because I was gonna fuck him later that night and I didn't want to transmit STDs. So anyways, he started telling me a story about how, like, he shot his grandma with a water gun and that dumb, scrawny-ass bitch fell down the stairs and broke her neck and died. That shit funny as hell.
I remember one time a legless lizard was doing push-ups, and it was sad cuz he lost his ears that day But it's okay cuz we grandma got the rent due and my uncle had to pay it off Because the garbage man didn't want to tax collect