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I'm kind of tired of just like losing in general, like I'm tired that like every time I'm training for something, training harder for like a course of a week, and expected to do something different, instead it's the same thing over again, the same loss, like by then I didn't even know how I lost, even though I trained my ass off, trying to become great, I just don't know, well, I didn't even know the last time I even won something, like my whole life is just freaking losing and losing, like I'm starting to lose more myself because I lost more, because I don't even know what to do man, I really do not know, I try to push myself for a greater goal, push myself to prove myself, I push myself to prove myself, but like every time I do, I lose, I just lose, even though loss is supposed to be a lesson, to me it's a hard-ass lesson, a lesson that would never be like, a lesson that would never be over, like I really don't know what to do man, I'm just tired of like the same loss over and over again, like to me, to me I don't even know if it's, I don't even know if it's me or not, maybe it's my, maybe it's the people around me, I just don't know man, I'm tired, it's hard, it's hard to be positive of all this losing, it's really hard to be positive while you're losing a lot, it's really hard.