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Jacob was here
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Jacob was here
 
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This this actually may not qualify as a joke, but I Have a I have a Squish mallow and it's an avocado and me and my friends have officially named my avocado squish mallow Dwayne the guac Johnson Dwayne the guac Johnson Shit's so funny. I can't ever get over it. It's like two years ago
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I got a question for you, how does a rock pee? He Dwaynes is Johnson.
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Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow? So he could have sweet dreams!
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A frog walks into a bank, and he's trying to finance a lily pad, get some money towards that, so he goes up to the teller, and the teller's just like, you know, a fucking frog walking into a bank, and he says, hi, my name's Kermit, and she goes, wait, Kermit, like Kermit the frog? And he's like, no, actually. My name is, to be continued.
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The frog said to the woman who was wearing a name tag, her name was Miss Whack. The frog told Miss Whack, no, my name's actually Kermit Jagger. My father is Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones. And so the lady goes, oh. And the frog goes, yeah. And she's like, what can I do you for? And the frog tells her in the next part.
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So the frog, Kermit Jagger, tells Miss Whack that he would like to, you know, get a loan for his lily pad. And the lady is just, like, fucking gobble-smacked at this point. She's like, look, like, I don't know anything about you, you don't have any credit history, you're walking up in here. Like, do you have, like, anything you can give us? And the frog clarifies in the next part.
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So the frog tells miss wag well, I've got collateral, you know that I can give to you For the money and she's like, okay Well, what can you give us and so the frog reaches into his frog pocket and pulls out a little pink Porcelain elephant and now miss wag is just like okay. What the fuck is happening? So she goes and gets her manager to be continued
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What did Gandhi say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything!
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Oh, oh, oh, oh, yo, that man right there. The only darkened, oh, yeah, he got that. That's pretty funny.
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