One time I was biking with my friends and I had to use the bathroom. There was nowhere near so I shit my pants and had to throw away the underwear in the woods without them knowing. I had to go the rest of the day without any underwear on.

honestly next time just shit inside the tire and it'll make the pressure like expand and then your wheel will be fixed

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Bro, you should have just stopped your bike and went and shit it in the woods, bro. And shit it on yourself. Like, that's never a good option. Or you can just stop your bike. Unless your life is on the line, but I doubt it. I doubt it.