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One weekend, I was supposed to go home, but something ended up happening and I couldn't, so I went back to my dorm and found my boyfriend hooking up with my roommate.
Alright, first of all, that's like not even an L. When you lose a cheater, you don't really lose anything. If anything, you have the freedom to go out there and focus on yourself, maybe find new friends, maybe find someone better, but a cheater is never worth crying over.
Perfect revenge. Step number one, get a can of tuna fish. Step number two, get the oil from said can of tuna fish and pour it down the cracks and the crevices of said window. Step number three, and this is the important part, sit back and watch. The smell will get worse and worse and worse until they have to actually replace the windows and you'll have to pay for it.
I wouldn't need to say anything, I would just need to lift up the covers and be like, tap, tap. And say, look, there's a space here for you if I had to say anything. And then she says, nah, I'm alright. I'd be like, well, cool. There's a door shut behind you.