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All right y'all, so here I am on another petty question and again it has to do with the breakup. So last time I asked you what is a petty reason for breaking up with somebody, this time I want to know what is something petty to take after a breakup? Like what is the pettiest of pettiest, like the lowest of low things that you could take or somebody, anybody could take from an ex that they possibly lived with or even whose house they maybe have access to after the breakup? Give me your best petty things to take after a breakup.
Oh, I like this question. What is the pettiest thing to take after a breakup? The bed and the pillows. Yes, especially after a breakup. It's it gives very much. Yeah, if you want to be a dog bitch and sleep on the floor like wine, be clear.
You know what I would do? I would take the buckle and leave the belts. I would take one cufflink out of each set and just leave one. Like everything that you have that needs a set, that has a mattress, a pair, I'm taking just one of them motherfuckers. Leaving you with the odd. Just one random thing.
You take all the batteries out of the house, then you take all the lightbulbs, and then you take all the seasonings out of the house. After that, you loosen up the screws on the doorknob, you know what I'm saying? Then you take the shit that you put the key into, take that off too. Yeah, real petty.
Now you know you better not let your wife hear this. You know she is still triggered by that ***** from years and years and years ago who took her light bulbs and her seasonings. Don't let her hear you say this shit.
Aw man, kiss my grits. Mr. Petty is here. You did a Petty post and Mr. Petty himself is here. So I'm changing all passwords on all platforms. Hulu, Pandora, you name it. Whatever we had, I'm changing the password. Whether I paid the bill or not. I'm hiding all one side of her shoes. Her favorite sneakers and high heels. But here's the crazy part. I'm not taking it with me. I'm hiding it in the house and I'm going to act like I got it.
Do you know how mad I would be if I came home and tried to log into my Netflix that I paid a bill for and my password has changed? Yeah, you trying to piss somebody off.
Let me tell you why this one right here might be the best answer. Do you know how hard it already is to keep up with earring bags but you're always like oh I have some over here oh I know I got one over here and you just all over like looking in different jewelry boxes, drawers, like on your dress just wherever you keep your jewelry and you're like I know I have an earring bag somewhere and there's none in the house not a single one and you don't know that until you're about to leave because jewelry is for women it's usually one of the last things we put on. Oh that's cold.
Oh you went all the way to hell with this one you ain't just go low like you went to a hell oh my god do you know do you know Wow well I wish somebody would come in here and take my granddaddy ashes I wish Oh Lord
Well, I mean, I'm actually a really cool, calm, collected, logical, forgiving person. But if you take it to where I gotta be petty, then I'm going all the way. Why would I, like, just be a little petty and give you room to bounce back? Like, I'm taking out your whole bloodline in one go. Come at me!