you know, life just loves fuckin' me up the ass, i swear to god i'm out here, out fuckin' nowhere, right? just goin' for a bike ride in the middle of the fuckin' night you know, havin' a good ol' fuckin' time and uh, my po- my tire fuckin' pops and the fuck i look like goin' up a fuckin' bridge up bridge with this fuckin' popped tire yes, i'm right next to a fuckin' highway yes, there are cars passing me yes, i'm not scared because guess what? i have someone to pick me up, but jesus fuckin' christ life loves fuckin' me up the ass you know, i wanted to go on a relaxing bike ride because i didn't really need to, life was like guess what, son of a bitch you're not gettin' another tire so now now i'm out here, above fuckin' nowhere with a popped fuckin' tire yup, that's my- that's my night for ya i'm probably gonna go home and go straight to bed

😬 Yikes

You're movin' my way, I'm movin' sideways, dear I don't know Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Somebody hit me with their fuckin' car Gimme that twenty- I'll give you twenty points Hit me like an eighteen-wheeler Break my back Break my freemium right open on the coggy Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

Or stick it up your ass and go for a run, fat ass.

i’m stuck at an airport in a different state than where i live by myself with 0 hours of sleep fighting for my life to stay awake rn

holy shit Ross crazy okay look okay here last story time before I head out cuz you know my phones about a fucking diets at 2% cuz you'll hear me out one time right I went out with the boys you know just to go just to go somewhere like to the mall right and then the fucking car tire pops like my friends fucking car tire pop and we have to move out of the road

Can't fuck you in the ass, lowkey.

One simple solution. Rape the bike.

Or piss on it.