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I could tell you the ugly one out of the friend group for sure.
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Ya no me enojo contigo, solo observo, empiezo, y veces yo no...
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Bro, if you don't shut yo' squiggly diggly ass up, I swear to God.
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Maserati porque yo Ya no ghetto Siri yeah it was her family
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Southport, Mexican? Really?
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blackout story as in like blackout drunk or blackout story as in like anger blackout because i got good stories for both i just need a reply from you so i know which one
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I'm gonna need like your sloppiest worst most chaotic blackout drunk story
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Okay, so again, I'm going to want you to pick. Actually, no, I'll just give you two. Um, so there was a story, okay. Uh, got drunk with all my friends, right, and we decided, hey, let's go to the caves. There was, uh, like a channel of caves, maybe 30 minutes away from our, uh, where we were staying at the time. And fucking, we went there. Don't know how we got there. Uh, we were all very drunk. And
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Anyways, we were very drunk, um, we got to the caves, we started to descend down, we heard chanting, we thought, okay, maybe there's just some other people down here with us. Uh, so we decided, you know, to venture further into the cave, and then it got to this tight little spot where you had to crawl on your hands and knees, then on your stomach, to get through, right? So anyways, we got through.
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and the chanting got even louder so we decided to go find out what the fuck that was you know drunk and so we're kind of hobbling around in the dark nobody none of us brought flashlights so we go towards a natural light we saw about 20 yards to our left so we started going towards that and the chanting got louder and louder and louder and then it stopped all of a sudden
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When it stopped, we stopped moving, or at least I did. I don't know if anybody else did. It was dark. But I didn't hear any other movement and I heard someone say, who's there? You know, who the fuck is there? And nobody replied. We were all scared shitless. Yeah, nobody replied until my buddy Isaac piped up, said, oh, it's just us. And we heard a big gruffy voice say.
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What do you mean by us? How many of there are you? Are there of you? Sorry and he said like okay so there was me, my buddy Isaac, his buddy Alex, his girlfriend and a couple I think we had a total of five six maybe seven people there
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So as they they are on their feet like as we are crawling through they are watching us Crawl through just waiting All right Because there's no other way to get to that place other than crawl and it's so tight that they can't follow us But for some reason they didn't grab our feet and drag us out So we kept going right and we got back to the ladder, which is what we descended down in the first place and with without a
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We got to the ladder without a struggle, you know. We thought, oh, they're not chasing us, we're fine. So we all one by one decided to, you know, it'd be better if we went up the ladder. It had like a safeguard on it towards the back so like we couldn't fall, thank goodness. I almost did. Again, we're all very, very drunk.
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So we got to the top, right? And we got in Zoe's car, Isaac's girlfriend, and we started the car, and when we turned on our headlights, it was like a fucking horror movie, bro. There were people with white clothes, white hoods, all over us. All around us. Basically surrounding the car. And I don't know if you know anything about the KKK where you're from, but they are very, very, very...
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Where was I? I don't know if you know anything about the KKK, where you're from, but in Idaho, they're kind of a thing, but they're more so up north. So we were kind of confused why they were in the Boise area, which is where I live, right? So... Zoe stepped on it, we got out of there, right? But turns out, Kuna Caves, he was in Kuna, the caves were owned by a farmer now, and he turned that into farmland.
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So we got lost on his I think it was a dairy farm. I don't know exactly I remember we were We stopped for a moment because Alex needed a pee and We thought oh, you know, we're probably out of the way of the KKK. I think that's what they were looking back I still don't know Actually, no probably was Anyways, Alex needed a pee
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We all got out, you know, decided, you know, maybe if we all took a pee, we'd be, you know, in better shape, right? Maybe not as drunk. Wrong. Alex found fucking whiskey on the ground and he drained that shit. And then he pulled his knife out on Isaac because Alex is, again, a wannabe gangbanger. So he thought Isaac was, I don't know, pressing him or something. I don't know exactly. I wasn't over there.
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I ran over there to or stumbled over there to try to break out eventually I think Alex probably now I don't think he would have done anything but he was getting real close with his knife to Isaac so I pulled Isaac into the car I told Alex to get his ass in the car and he didn't listen so we got in the car and Joey Zoe sorry drove off and we kind of left Alex in the dust for a second
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Alright so we let Alex walk for a little bit you know let him cool down because he was pretty upset about Isaac peeing next to him I guess um so yeah that's that was a thing um where was I oh yeah we let him in the car and then as soon as we did we hear a trunk horn go off and not like the alarm it makes when it like you break into a car but like be like
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It was like a horn, like someone was honking at us, and we looked over to our right, and right next to us, maybe, I want to say 15 yards away from us, so, he was pretty close to us, and it was a truck, and it was the farmer, and he was pissed that we were on his property.
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This is the part where I tell you Isaac is in fact black, so he looked at Isaac and screamed the n-word and We got in We got we got out of there, but that's not that's not the end of this story you see we were going we were going Taking left taking rights just trying to find a way to the road right and we got stuck
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Zoe's car is a Ford Focus, right? And we were off-roading in it. So that those two don't mix at all we figured we'd be fine, but we got stuck in a rut and I Don't know how but by some fucking miracle it took me Alex and Isaac just us to like Push it just once like a little shoulder nudge to get it out and so we sped off
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I think she was more worried about getting out than she was getting us in the car. She met us up at a gas station, maybe, I think it was like a 20-minute walk away, that sobered us up a little bit, and then we called an Uber home and then sent Zoe's brother and his girlfriend to go get Zoe's car. So yeah, that's one of my sloppiest, messiest drunk stories, but I have more, so ask.
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I am here for all of the drunk stories that is so crazy
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So, what you're telling me is you would like to hear more. Because I have plenty more.
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How about the time I got roofied at a concert and the roofie wasn't meant for me?
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Or the time at the state fair where I threw up on a police officer from the very top of a ferris wheel.
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I've never gotten drunk before.
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so this is like three years ago and like I didn't have a car so I was like kind of Ubering everywhere and like so like the next day was like Mother's Day so I had to go like pick up these flowers and then after pick up these flowers I was gonna go to like my friend's house and shit so I go my friend's house like get shit-faced absolute fucking drunk and so then I gotta go in like the fucking uber with like this big ass
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Would like that is a big ass fucking vase of flowers like we're talking like it's a big ass fucking vase of flowers like I spent about like $75 on like this big ass thing fucking flowers whatever kind of fucking were literally like I'm in the Uber whatever like drunk as fuck I literally end up spilling the fucking flowers everywhere in the water the flowers on the ground like I am like profusely apology
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Like profusely apologizing to this man and he's like no it's OK like it's just water like don't worry about it he's like I understand so and I honestly and I didn't get charged for like extra cleaning or anything like that he was like a fucking real one I appreciate that you were driver because he really could've fucked me over but
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