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Yeah, so I dated this girl who was a 1000% people pleaser and I'm not gonna lie nor sugar coated it drove me absolutely nuts because I wanted her to just be her. I didn't want her to think for me. I didn't want her to live for me. I didn't want to live for her. I just didn't want the codependency shade of it. I wanted her to just live her life and allow me to live it with her, but it didn't work like that. So I need to know on the majority of the majority side, do you like people pleasing? Are you a people pleaser? Or are you somebody who makes your own decisions?
I can't speak for the girl that you dated but I can speak for my own experience. I've actually been in that position where I did a bunch of things and you know it's because I didn't want to be alone so I felt like okay well if I please this person or that person at least I have somebody around me and did not work out for the best and I've learned that the hard way and so these days I'm all about individualism and doing your own thing 100%.
Yeah, like when you say that I get like major ick. I'm like, ooooooooh. Cause that's like, you know, for me, I just can't. It's hard to respect. It's truly hard to respect. It saddens me because it's like the need to want somebody so bad that you'll just do what you think they need and what they need is for you to be you. So it's yeah, it's sad.
I'm a teenager so you know I don't know I don't know if that changes my opinion but I myself I think I am a people pleaser I don't mean it but at the same time I do I think it's annoying but then I'm just like oh just make them think you're not a people pleaser to please them so then I suddenly please them.
That was funny because we definitely laughed at the same time. You ultimately, people please by trying not to people please, which is funny. But yeah, I just feel like individualism is so important, especially when, you know, somebody is looking forward to your uniqueness. And then when you want to just please them, it's like kind of voiding out how unique you you
I try to stay myself but I definitely like if someone doesn't like a certain type of joke I won't say a type of joke or like I kind of figure out what part of me someone else likes and that will be the more prominent side of me and then I've been told I'm really charming where like I flatter people. I don't recall flattering, but everyone says I do. So it must be true.
Once again, you gave me the ick. Like you tried to influence certain sides for certain people. Oh God I'm gonna be sick. No, I'm just kidding. But seriously don't Try not to do that. I mean, I mean who am I right to tell you what to do, but literally just try to remain your You are fluent self of what you like and then those right people will flock to you. I promise.
I know I'm trying. It's something I've worked on for a really long time. It used to be really bad. Now I'm just like... Partially bad. I don't know. I'm not... I've been trying. And I think it works. I think I've been less. So, yeah.
Hey progress is perfection. The ultimate goal is you and so if you are able to just recognize that and realize that you came in this, I don't know if you're a twin or not, but you came in this world alone. Even twins don't come out at the same time. You know what I mean? You come in this world alone, you're going out alone. Remember that you are the ultimate goal. So yeah, you're on the right path. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing the right thing. Keep it up.
Girl, everything you say, it has so much wisdom and you have such a great insight on what it means to be alive and aware. I just have to say, I really give you a thousand plus kudos, love, peace, respect and honor. Yeah, everything you say is so wise and I love it. I love it. Keep it going.
100% finds someone that wants to be by themselves and like wants to hang out with you obviously but also wants to be like by herself sometimes, have her alone time, maybe family time, like not 24-7 because like my last experience with that and I was there 24-7 for them, they just just ended up using these so I mean it really goes both ways but yes 100%
That's exactly the type of girl I would love. I literally like a girl that's independent but also likes me, you know, just for me and like to hang out and shit. So thanks for that advice. That's a really good observation. I really want somebody that's not so codependent because that's just so much fucking pressure. I can't do.
So I feel like my advice in general is to kind of like be selfish you know try to be selfish I feel like you'll gather more respect that way and also you'll find out things about yourself that you might have not necessarily known otherwise So that's my advice.
I mean don't get me wrong there's really nothing wrong with wanting to please the people you care about There's nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is when you Kind of put yourself aside for the sake of other people and that can really set you up to be taken advantage of Or like I said before people can not respect you as much So put yourself first. That is my ultimate goal for everyone.
Uh, you see, to be honest, I feel like I'm not a people pleaser at all. I may be materialistic, but I'm very humble when it comes to relationships. I don't like throwing my relationship out there, because I feel like there's a lot of people who talk shit and do all those things, and there's a lot of people who say, oh well, you shouldn't do this in relationship, you should do that. But it's like at the end of the day, I'm a man, I make my own choices, I'm gonna do what the fuck I want, and that what other people want me to do.