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My husband and I have been dating for six years and married for four. We have a baby boy and since we don't plan on having more children, I told my husband I wanted to get my boobs redone because I wanted them more perky. I had surgery last year. My mother-in-law has always been sniffy because my husband is her only son. We've gotten low contact over the years because she's overbearing with him and dismissing with me. Things got a little better when our baby was born, but after my surgery, it's like I wrote on my forehead, look at my boobs, I want to cheat on my husband. She's always implying I did it for male validation, that I'll leave my husband, that I look like a hooker because I wear a set that shows cleavage, that I could have gotten them a little smaller, everything. She also complained about my clothes and underwear a lot because no married woman with a child should dress like this. And see, that's what stung me because how could she know? I suspected she was going in my drawers, but my husband told me that she could never. She made a comment about how a cute set of lingerie that shows basically everything and I was confused. I asked how she knows, I haven't, and she said she saw it in the washing machine, but I prefer to wash my sets by hand so the lace lasts longer. Anyway, we recently changed our bedroom and I had the idea to put an end to this. When I was restocking my doors, I used one in the vanity to put all of my husband and mine sex toys, a few sets, a dirty letter he wrote me once. My mother-in-law visited us a few times and said nothing, so I did feel bad for accusing her, but yesterday she was in there with my sister-in-law, my husband and I were in the kitchen cooking for them. When we heard my mother-in-law calling us and we went to her room, they were standing next to my drawer. I just snorted, I looked at my husband and said, see, she snoops. My husband got right in the face, berated my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, and they both left our house calling me indecent. My husband is mad at them, but he's mad at me too because he says I shouldn't have set a trap for them. He says we all 3D to apologize to each other, so maybe I'm the asshole.
Definitely not the asshole in this situation. Your mother-in-law needs to learn boundaries. And your husband should learn to be a good husband and support you.